10 ideas for a goofy martial art

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1. One of the techniques when getting attacked: pretend to be a sea elephant

2. When attacked from behind, start singing a song by Céline Dion

3. After punching your adversary, don't forget to kiss the wound

4. Whenever possible, fart in your opponent's face

5. Always have a banana on you

6. To intimidate your opponent, start by doing the choreography from Uptown Funk

7. Alternative to the chokehold: put them to sleep by telling your life story

8. Hug your opponent and tell them you understand how hard it must be right now

9. Stare in your opponent's eyes and tell them you're in love with them

10. Take your clothes off and twist your own nipples to confuse them