10 Reasons why I think I am on the Autism Spectrum perhaps
I have had discussions about this with my therapist. She says I think we're all on the spectrum. I think I agree. I looked up "Signs of Autism in Adults" I found this:
I am not trying to make Autism seem like it's nothing. I do think we are over categorized as a society. Labeling can help us feel more comfortable with ourselves maybe. Help us understand ourselves better. This might also be why I connect better with children on the spectrum. I understand them better.
1. Finding it hard to understand what other people are thinking or feeling
I am actually pretty good at this but so many people play games. It's tricky to understand what a lot of people are thinking or feeling. People hide stuff I feel like. Am I making it more about a problem with them? Maybe.
2. Getting Very Anxious about Social Situations
Oh I totally do this. I have gotten better at it with time. My mom always nudged me into feeling comfortable in scary situations. I always had to have an activity. It helped me become less anxious.
3. Finding it hard to make friends or prefer to be on my own
It's totally hard to make friends. I don't like most people. I am very particular. I'd rather spend time on my own than with someone that I don't want to.
4. Finding it hard to say how you feel
I could type it all day. Saying it is a completely different thing. I get completely flustered and don't know how to say things. It's like I have forgotten speech. I have to know the person really well in order to convey it.
5. Taking things very literally
I do this. I get upset when people say "Oh I didn't mean it like that". My response is well say what you mean then. What's with this saying what you don't mean?
6. Having the same routine everyday and getting anxious if it changes
I am better at this but I still like certain things a certain way. I like to wake up at 6 and be the first one in the shower. If someone gets in there before me and my timeline is off I am super annoyed.
7. Avoiding Eye Contact
I do this around men. Not woman so much. I am not sure what that is about. I don't feel comfortable about it.
8. Having a very keen interest in certain subjects
This is totally me. I am very interested in the gilded age and Victorian age. Most particularly the offspring of Queen Victoria. I love anything from 1898ish to 1913. It's kind of weird. I am ok with it.
9. Autistic women are quieter
I was quiet for a long time until I surrounded myself with loud women. I am louder because you become the people you surround yourself with. I may have done this as a survival mechanism.
10. Not Understanding Social Rules
I seriously don't get them. At least not in my family. I find it totally annoying. They are pretty basic rules. Small talk about stuff I have no interest in. I literally don't know how to do it. I disappear. I get hard on myself because of it.