10 Things I need help with before Vlogging.. I need advice :/

It scares the crap out of me.

1. Looking into the camera!

How do you look into the camera. It's like a little dot and you are suppose to talk to a little dot. I put a piece of paper above the dot so I would look at that but then I feel stupid for looking at a piece of paper. Is this just a comfort thing I have to get over.

2. Talking to myself

I think it feels weird recording myself while talking to myself. So weird. I don't really want anyone else there because I don't want them to judge me talking to a camera but I don't want to just talk to a camera.

3. Lighting

I feel most comfortable in my space. It's not great lighting. I have these deep shadows under my eyes when I have the video on me. I am lit full from in front of me.

4. Where do I keep this video so that I can post a link on here.

I don't want to post it on Youtube. I guess I am soo self conscious about it right now. Is there some other platform I can post it to where random other people can't see it. I feel safe here on notepd. I don't feel safe in the big wide world of YouTube.

5. Make it more exciting

I feel like me just talking to a camera is silly. Its gotta be exciting. I am not good at art.

6. Can I just record myself speaking at first?

What would I save that too to provide a link?

7. Free Editing Software

Where do I edit this exciting thing? I have little money. I have a pc.

8. Drug I can take

Is there an anti anxiety drug I can take that can make me feel more comfortable. I was really hoping the one that I was put on to just be normal would work. Nope.

9. Is there like a boot camp?

How to feel comfortable on video. Like little exercises you can do with an instructor that makes you feel less nervous?

10. Should I just not be doing this?

Should I just come to the conclusion this is not my thing?