10 things to slow down

I already eat slowly. I only have two teeth opposing each other that are good for chewing. But even before that, I learned the pleasures of chewing slowly and enjoying the taste, the texture, the experience of food.

I can read fast when I need to. I'm effective at skimming. But I like to read a good book the way I savor a cheesecake bite. It's a sensory experience. Few of us actually move our lips when we read, but when I slow down in reading I can hear the writer's voice in my head.

Sometimes I'm on deadline. But when I let myself slow down and follow the words as they come forth, it feels like drawing or playing guitar or other creative in-the-moment flow activities.

I certainly get in a rush sometimes. When I push and break the speed limit and get too close to drivers in front of me and weave through traffic and rush through red lights, I get stressed. I can feel my blood pressure rising. And I wind up where I'm going maybe three minutes faster. It's not worth three minutes to blow out a few blood vessels. I may save three minutes, but I probably cut weeks or months off my life, and risk ending it before supper. It's much, much more pleasant to experience the feel of the steering wheel, listen to the road sound, notice the scenery around me—in other words, to drive mindfully.

Rushing through meditation is a contradiction, and yet I can actually do this to myself. I set a timer, sneak glances at it, jump up as soon as the timer goes off. I feel like I have to squeeze it in because there's no time, and that's counterproductive. Better to take a few breaths, make the exhales twice as long as the inhales (e.g., inhale to a count of four, exhale to a count of eight) and let the meditation unfold rather than force nirvana.

We miss the time with each other. She missed my presence when I'm working all the time. TV time is not the highest quality time, but with our growing physical limitations, it's just something for us to do together. When I stop looking at the clock and just get into the show and the conversation with her, time become timeless.

A chore, right? Something to get done as quickly as possible? But when I slow down and truly experience doing the laundry, the choriness evaporates. It actually becomes pleasurable. I'm not saying I would choose doing laundry over going to a favorite movie, but approaching it this way completely changes the experience.

Same principle as laundry. Make it an experience that involves your senses.

We get our mail at a UPS store. Sometimes I try to get in and out as quickly as possible because there's so much that needs doing. But we've done business at the same store for over 20 years. The staff there all know us. When we pull up, they start getting our packages ready, and usually will get the mail from the mailbox before I even get in the store. They know our kids, and we know what's going on in their lives. When they're not covered up with other customers, it's a nice time to connect with another human being, but I have to slow down first.

Here's another process that I can enjoy just for the process. When I was writing down 10 ideas a day in Evernote, I approached it pretty much the way it seems James does with his waiter pads—just jotting what have become titles here in NotePD. There's nothing wrong with that, and when I'm pressed for time I still create at least one list a day exactly like that. It's enough to keep stretching the idea muscle.

But I'm finding it pleasurable to get lost in the process. My process is to generate the full list at the title level first, and then go back through to expand on each idea. That exploration shouldn't be rushed through. Making the idea list becomes yet another sensory experience. It helps me realize one of the key insights of Buddhist thought. While the West has traditionally considered there to be five basic sense, Buddhists talk about six senses: sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste, and mind (or the activity of thinking, including what is perceived via the other senses). Slowing down making an idea list is a pleasurable experience for the mind just like a warm cup of hot chocolate is a pleasurable experience of touch, taste, smell, and even sight if it's in a special mug.