15 Interesting Things I've Learned In The Past Year About Myself

1. Love of solo hiking

The vast majority of my hikes prior to last year were with another person. Last year, I decided to go solo and found so much peace with it.

2. ADHD

Not that the label matters, but it wasn't until this past year that my dietitian very frankly asked me if I had ever been diagnosed. That's led to months long conversations and exploration. There's more to uncover but at least I've started finding the support and resources needed to thrive.

3. I love dogs but

I'm not sure I'd own one again. My dog is great, but she has a lot of behavioral things we're working on. Given that I want to travel much more in the future I may stick to volunteering/fostering and not owning. Of course we'll keep our current girl for her entire life, she's family. 

4. I’m a hobby jumper

I like to try a lot of things, sometimes once, sometimes several months or years, and then drop it to try something else. I used to feel guilty about this, but that's silly. I get to explore all sorts of hobbies and learn from them. 

5. Self-advocate

I injured my shoulder last summer. The orthopaedic doctor was a doorknob who'd never read my chart, suggest things we'd already tried, and in general useless. I have an incredibly high tolerance to pain, but my shoulder hurt. It was a wake-up call to assert myself more to get the care needed and eventually move on for a second opinion. 

6. Grief is Weird

I know it is for everyone, and I'm no stranger to grief. This past year my grandma died. She had a wonderful long life filled with family and love. Unfortunately, I was not as much involved in her life as she's my father's mother and the dynamic was difficult. Her death has hit me hard. I can't change the past, and she knew I loved her very much as I know she loved me, but it's been a tough one. Other deaths have occurred in my family with people I saw much more often, but their deaths were almost numb for me. Grief, it's weird.

7. I still struggle with

Imposter syndrome. I hate it. It's difficult to work through, but I'm trying. 

8. Girl friends

I'm the type with a very small circle of friends. I adore the friends I have and understand friendships have a natural ebb and flow over their course. This past year, two girls who were in my group of friends stepped up and we've become extremely close. They have helped me through a horrible time, we've celebrated our victories and supported each other in difficulties. They are two amazingly beautiful souls, and becoming friends with them has been fulfilling in a way I haven't known before. 

9. I need more sleep

I am a poor sleeper. I have to work more on my sleep hygiene. 

10. Coming clean

There's a part of me that still likes to lock myself up right and not show who I am to the world. Forcing myself to stop that and being truthful of who I am, my thoughts, actions, etc..has been a major work that's paid off a bit this past year. 

11. I don’t like

Lamb with mint sauce. I like lamb, I like mint. I do not like them together. 

12. Forever an optimist

My partner often jokes he has to be a realist because I'm an idealist. Even when things suck, or people have caused hurt, I always carry that spark of hope. 

13. I Can Be

A complete asshat at times. Especially when I'm tired or stressed. 

14. Strained friendship

It's a long story and I'm tired, but this past year a friend did something that was super amazing for her, but she lied to me and my partner for quite awhile. I was more upset about the pain caused to my partner. I've hardly said a word to her since but never told her why. I'm not sure it matters. 

15. This is hard

I have lots of discoveries, but I've covered many in other lists or am not in the mood to disclose.