Advice on asking a girl out on a date.

This is a problem that scientists have been working on since the beginning of time. I can only offer my perspective and hope it saves your soul. Good luck, brother! (This was advice for @jay_yow07 so not all of it will apply to everyone who reads it, like Advice 9, blackmailing James Altucher, but the other stuff might help you out. Let me know the results!)

Preview

Dude's all like "what is this thing and how do I talk words to it?"

1. Ask to meet at Coffee/Bar/Restaurant

A very natural and straight-forward locations, the common meeting ground to engage on the chess of conversation. Now, I like to make it a bit interesting and go to a place I haven't been before, that way if the girl sucks (and not in the way- eh, I'm not even gonna finish that horrible joke) well, at least you've experience a new place you've never been before

2. Ask to go to Chuck-E-Cheese

I dunno if these are still around, but I read about one dude would take ladies to chuck-e-cheese. They had fun and made fun of the other kids and eventually got handsy in the ball pit, foundling a different type of balls, if you know- ok, sorry, I know, I don't why I keep doing these sexual innuendos

3. Ask to go to an art museum

I did this with a buddy of mine and thought, damn, it would be cool to do this with a hot babe instead of my disinterested buddy. I had fun, I pointed out all the tits in the pictures, I think it'd be fun to do with a cool babe

4. Ask to go to the hospital

Find a sick person in hospital, pay them like $5 and then tell the lady let's go visit my sick friend. It might be better to hire a sick child cause then you could get the kid to lie and say like, oh, yeah, he visits all the time and buys me legos and the girl will be like, damn, he's got legos? I gotta check out his house!

5. Ask to go to a gay club

Ladies, historically, like gay dudes. And it's fun going to gay clubs because gay dudes will be giving you compliments all night so that'll be a boost of confidence

6. Ask to go to an undergound BDSM club

So, like, I read in a book that women want to feel safe but also have like a dangerous man, so like this is a perfect place to show that you can slap her but stop when she says the safe word. Also, you'll meet other cool people!

7. Ask to go to the Church of Scientology

This is something my buddies did without me, I'm pretty sad about it, but I think it's a cool first date idea. You'll get to take personality tests and see how you rank according to Zuzu or whatever that dumb cult believes in

8. Ask to meet at the local sewers

Damn, so this was fun for me to do as a kid. Me and my friends would find huge sewer drains, go inside of them and see how far we could get. It's scary and thrilling, a poor person's roller-coaster ride, basically! Plus, I'm totally healthy! I think!

9. Ask to meet at the recording studio and blackmail James to interview her

Women like fame and James has a huge platform and you'll probably have some dirt on him, so boom, just get James to make a podcast about her, that'll promote her twitter and she'll love you for life, maybe, until you can't boost her popularity anymore and she dates some other famous podcaster... so, this is good for the short-term

10. Ask to meet at the park and bring a dog

Women love dogs. Boom, I just solved your problem of asking this lady out. You're welcome!