Can You Actually Help Someone?
Have changed my mind on this recently.
1. Good people try to help
That's what we all should be doing. Lend a hand. When asked, offer advice. Be there for your close ones in tough times.
2. We don't all start in the same place
None of us like everything about ourselves. If you do, you might be a narcissist. Some are born in worse conditions. Countries with turmoil. Crazy parents. Some are born with too much and they may feel like they will never live up to the expectations.
3. Competition is unavoidable
Earning something > getting something for nothing. Not everything is a zero sum game. There are often enough resources to go around for eveyone. When you are helping someone who's down on their luck, don't give it to them. Make them work for it. Somehow. They will feel better about it down the road. Spoiled and entitled people don't help the world.
4. We make our own choices
This is what has changed my mind. I can try and help someone 1000 times. If they don't pull the trigger and decide to change for the better on their own, nothing we do around them will matter.
5. Don't play " the savior"
You can only offer a hand. You can't actually make the decisions for someone. If they don't want to do something, it is not your fault.
6. Even good parents have messed up children
Know a family who's parents gave their children all the opportunities. A loving family. Provided for them. Great schools. They fell into drug use and no one could save them.
7. Life can be cruel
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. We are not as powerful as we would like to think.
8. Provide a framework
Give someone a "blueprint" and it's up to them to find a way.
9. Don't give up
Just because someone hasn't figured it out, doesn't mean they won't eventually. If you care about someone, keep trying. It's still not up to you, but your support can help.
10. Don't throw stones
No need for judgement. No one is perfect.