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Finding Meaning In A Meaningless World

This is a tough read for anyone heavily invested in an ego.

Intellectual minds will actively resist.

There's a frightened part of you that will only hear "blah, blah, blah, as you meander down the page.

What could possibly be more urgent and important than waking up to the truth of who you are?

    1. All the world I see is what I perceive or believe.

    I the believer in my world, now coexist in this world. A world completely made-up, no doubt.

    Both the world that I perceive as well as myself are phenomenal in a way that I have yet to fully recognize.

    What are some existential questions that are worthy of investigation?

    1. Who am I?
    2. What am I?
    3. Where did I come from?
    4. Where am I headed?
    5. What is forgiveness?
    6. Can real love be known or experienced?
    7. What is my real nature or identity?
    8. What is the meaning of life?
    9. What is the meaning of existence?
    10. What is my greater purpose?
    11. What is death?
    12. Who is my ascended master?
    13. Who can point the pathway to salvation?
    14. What happens when I die?
    15. What is the Holy Spirit?
    16. Who or what is God?

    2. What's the highest question I can ask myself as a human being? What's the most intelligent question I can entertain? What's the most important thing to discover in the human kingdom?

    It can only be to be clear about who I am?

    Why? Because if I gain the world but lose my soul, what have I gained?

    Because if I know everything else but I don't know myself then what value is my knowledge?

    If all my knowledge is about "else" and "other" but I don't know myself I know only what is valueless.

    When I'm asked who I am, I default to I am a man who has a name, operates a business, has a degree from a university, has a family, was born in Texas, and will surely die someday.

    But this is not who I am.

    Much of what I've offered to the world is just a bunch of concepts to impress them. Look at me. Look at how great I am.

    The death of my mother really prompted me to dig deeper into who I am? I'm happy with the prompt?

    What's the thing that's happened in your life that compels you to look beyond what you put down on your job application?

    If it hasn't happened to you, you'd better wish that something does if you want to discover who really lives in your house. (mind)

    Am I seeing the world through the eyes of fear and separation or through the eyes of love and connection?

    There's more to me than I've conditioned myself to believe.

    3. When I look at you do I see innocence? Have I absolved you from all responsibility for any lack of peace that I'm experiencing?

    This realization won't come from something I read in a book or heard on a podcast.

    This knowing won't come from something someone told me.

    This is an experience of the oneness that we all share.

    4. Where there is two there will always be effort.

    One - The thing observed. Always has to do with a past.

    Two - The one who observes. Always present. Always silent. Wants nothing. Asks for nothing. Judges nothing. Needs nothing.

    5. The Holy Spirit doesn't give me a key. It removes the door.


    6. What if this was my last breath? What would I share today?

    Would it have an impact on who I am within myself?

    Would it be loving? Would it be kind? Would it be gentle?

    Nothing else matters other than awakening.

    I must not believe such a thing is possible --- If I did why would I pursue anything else?

    7. Waking up. An alarm for humans.

    The feeling of a "me" is taken to be a fact but in truth it's fiction.

    As I wake up. I notice my psychological mind losing power over me. I am free. This is not something my ego wants to hear.

    This is not about intellectual understanding. It's about experiencing what I truly Am not what I made up as an attack against God.

    Who am I as "The Fact" not the fiction?

    No one really talks about waking up.

    It's as if the idea of waking up is a myth or fantasy.

    Waking up is like watching all perceived wrongs disappear.

    Waking up is only for someone who has understood and experienced their psychological identity is not real.

    The identity that I identify with is not true? It's a made-up character. It's not real.

    Yet I believe that I am my body. I believe I am what type of credit card(s) I carry in my wallet.

    I believe I am how much money I have in the bank. I believe I am where I travel in the world.

    I believe I am my pets, my spouse, my children, my car, and the titles before or after my name.

    I believe I'm a victim. I believe I am my conditioning. I believe my personality is a fact.

    I believe that I can find the answer in a book or a podcast.

    I believe that some training course or someone else has the answer.

    Awakening can only come from within.

    To awaken is to be free of all psychological conditioning and identity.

    To awaken is recognizing that I am free, pure, wise, unafraid, and filled with a love that's all-encompassing

    A peace that is unabating.

    A joy that doesn't depend on anything external. It shines by itself. Complete. Whole.

    Accept this fully.

    8. the end. of suffering is attainable.

    I suffer because I have attack thoughts. I mentally bark at these made-up characters inside my head.

    I suffer because I believe that if it wasn't for this I would be happy.

    I suffer because I believe this situation should be different.

    I suffer because I'm not present.

    I suffer because I argue with "what is?"

    I suffer because I've tried to replace God with money, sex, and classical music.

    I suffer because I see you as different from me.

    All suffering begins and ends with me.

    9. I lose the moment I take "I" personal.

    Am I a personality? or

    Am I that I Am?

    The moment I take 'I" to be a person or personal, It doesn't feel good.

    No one taught me to question "I."

    I question everything else but I never question "I". I naturally say it without much effort.

    I think. I speak. I live. I go. I have. I want. I don't want. I can.

    Who is the "I" that I readily acknowledge?

    It is more important who I take myself to be, not what others take me to be.

    What consciousness is functioning inside my body and who do I think I am?

    "I" refers to the body. My body. The body that I believe myself to be.

    I Am doesn't point to a body.

    I Am is the ever-aware divinity that is always present.

    10. How to end the ocean of suffering

    I learn lessons in loving kindness.

    I am open to seeing all situations that I believe anger me - differently.

    All suffering is trying to teach me the same thing.

    I'm either seeing the world through the eyes of my ego or through the eyes of God.

    I'm either coming from a place of guilt/fear or a place of love/kindness.

    Suffering is my own misinterpretation of the world.

    For suffering to end I must first determine what the real problem is.

    Nothing about experiencing joy is dependent upon others.

    I let people be because that's what they want.

    I free us by freeing me.

    I stopped asking people to act out the script I wrote for them.

    All of my sufferings emerged because I was unwilling to see the situation differently.

    I experienced a correction in my perception.

    I am willing to see you in a different way if the way I see you now is less than loving.

    I recognized that all of my perceived problems were linked to the past.

    I recognized that my gurus are always the ones that are closest to me.

    I realized that any kind of sickness whether it be of mind or body is simply a lack of peace.

    I realized that anger and guilt are one.

    I take seeing the innocence in everyone seriously.

    11. There is no sufferer.

    Show me a sufferer?

    What do they look like?

    Can you buy one in a store?

    Does the sufferer die with the body?

    Can I project my suffering onto you?

    All suffering occurs in the mind.

    Suffering is thoughts, feelings, emotions, and images.

    I put my entire life behind a "Me" that I've never questioned whether it was real or not.

    When I accept something without questioning it, my entire life becomes beholden to it.

    12. The origin of the fire.

    Where did it begin? What is the root cause? Then go before the root cause.

    Because if I know where it started I know how to end it.

    I know if the pain lies within, the answers must be there too.

    Once I know who started it and who's affected by it only then will I truly be able to stop it.

    1. Establish the origin(s)
    2. Investigate the cause.
    3. Observe the circumstances and conditions that brought the ignition source, fuel, and oxidant together.

    13. Call for love language

    I want this.

    I need that.

    I'm in trouble.

    I can't pay my bills.

    If I only had a car things would be different.

    Once I become debt-free I'm going to soar.

    I am tired of this.

    There has to be a way out of suffering.

    14. I want to stop Samsara.

    Samsara is a Sanskrit term.

    Everyone knows Samsara despite not being able to speak the language.

    The magic is not in the word itself. Magic is derived from what the word represents. It's a pointer.

    Samsara begins the moment I believe that I am a person.

    Samsara is when my life is full of delusion, hallucinations, confusion, judgment, fear, anxiety, guilt, depression, broken promises, broken dreams, frustration, lack of peace, and unhappiness.

    Samsara is like a wheel that is always turning. How do I get off? Dismount?

    I can jump off and let the wheel keep spinning....or

    I can realize there is no wheel. I made it all up. It's just an idea of who I believe that I am. I have never been on any wheel.

    Samsara is my ego demanding something from the world in hopes that I can be happy.

    This is Samsara. Who among you can Identify with these words?

    As long as I believe I am a person I will be very suited for Samsara.

    15. Depth of flavor

    The depth of flavor has become so joyous I don't desire to experience anything else.

    I can taste it the moment the flavor is just a tad bit off.

    To build depth of flavor requires intentionality.

    I so appreciate that I'm moving away from bland flavors and towards flavors that are created in love.

    I simply don't want to mentally consume anything that is unpalatable or stale anymore because I have a higher taste. A mature palate.

    16. How do I know when I'm breaking free?

    Whenever I begin practicing some form of spiritual practice or contemplation I've noticed there's a lot of resistance.

    Even if there's a more practical and loving way to look at the situation available I will often make the less effective choice.

    My mind blocks and objects to the new behavior because it's unfamiliar. It's trying to protect me.

    I can feel that something inside of me doesn't want me to be free.

    Something inside of me wants me to be held captive by the world?

    There's a power inside of me that isn't going to easily release its grip on me.

    I'm going to have to fight for my freedom. Becoming free from needing anything in the world is my primary function.

    17. Fear and resistance only rises up for an identity that is still not complete.

    Ego attracts more ego.

    My ego is an identity of my own making. It is a mental construct of "self".

    My ego, although it appears static, is very dynamic and always changing.

    My ego cleverly hides behind "I" and "Me" which are of my own construction, not of Source.

    My ego is difficult to see especially when I'm still in the process of constructing it.

    My ego is hard to recognize because it's completely identified with a false self.

    If I suppress connectedness, I'm still heavily invested in my ego.

    Lullabies soothe the mind from anxiety and stress and help promote a good night's sleep. However, there's another kind of lullaby that aids in waking up.

    I've learned so many bad habits from teachers with good intentions that I have to reprogram my mind to a new way of thinking.

    Repetition has quickly become my most effective practice.

    18. My will to stop has power. My habits have a lot of power too.

    I set the intention that I want to be more loving and kind yet I still have a habit of being unloving and hateful at times, where do I stand?

    It can only mean during this time that I am observing what I do not desire and can not simultaneously observe what I desire.

    My habits exist because I give them power. I observe them. I make them up and make them "real."

    A habit without power is like a car without gas, it can't go anywhere.

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