Fear of missing out. I think this is a common thing, people have a natural desire to be included.
1. I had it in high school
FOMO wasn't a term back then but I had it. I was aware of wanting or maybe needing to be included. It caused me some anguish. I was very social and had a lot of friends but missing out bugged me.
2. Started to grow out of it in college
I was very social in college too. I did plenty of stuff but not everything. I wouldn't say I had completely outgrown it in college but I think I started to move away from it.
3. It became FOBI
Quite a while back my wife and I started to joke about FOBI, fear of being included. My wife runs an animal rescue. Much of her time is spent on the phone doing rescue stuff or at their ranch property doing rescue stuff. Both involve a lot of engagement with people. Ditto my work at the fire department. It is a lot of engagement with people. As a result we don't socialize very much in the way most people think of it. Every so often we do stuff but not often.
4. Fire buddies fishing
A group of fire buddies are on a fishing trip together for a few days. They sent pictures. It looks like they are having a blast catching fish and drinking beer. I am thrilled for them that they are having fun. They said I should go with them next year. Um....
I really enjoy bullshitting with these guys but a few days of that, all day, would be too much.
5. Alone versus lonely
Can you spend time alone? I greatly enjoy alone time. I am all in on the need for social engagement as a part of healthy and successful aging but it is not easy for me. Fortunately I get a lot of engagement within the fire department. It is more purposeful than just BSing and drinking beer.
Being lonely is a different thing. I'm not even sure comfort in being alone is a the opposite of being lonely. I feel no sense of being lonely so I don't really know how to address it but being comfortable enough in your own skin to be alone and enjoy it is a wonderful thing.