How to move on

Our thoughts and what we write are very closely linked.

Write about how you no longer care, have moved on and how life will be better without them.

You're thoughts will soon change to reflect that and moving on will be easier.

We usually do the opposite.  We obsess over how we still care, how we haven't moved on and why our lives will fall apart without them.

Our thoughts then follow leading us down a dark path.  That's not the path you want to go down though, is it?

For me the reality was that she didn't love me.  Believing that she did made me love a dream rather than reality.

Sure reality kept hinting that this dream may infact be real, but getting with my pal soon burst that bubble.

The person I liked, the dream version wouldn't do that.  The person that's Infront of me didn't.  Accepting that who I liked didn't really exist is tough, but I'm still rather live in reality than in a dream world.

Noone acted out of character.  It was their character's that led down that path.  If I lived in reality instead of a dream world that would have been predictable.  Instead the nievity ended up with reality smacking me in the face and leaving a fairly painful bruise.

I hope that made sense.

Like peacocks we put on an act to attract mates.  This act can last month's or even years, but before long it falls apart.

Who we really are starts to show.  The two actors may have matched perfectly, but the real version's might not be as compatible.  If you're willing to keep up the act this dream world can continue.  But that's only if both of you do.  Or you can both come to accept really.  Sooner or later everyone has to.

You can accept it and continue or accept it and move on.  Regardless reality wins.

Similar to my first point.  The more we talk about something the larger it grows and the more important it becomes.

Accept and move on.  

Don't get me wrong I'm not angry or upset about anything.  It is what it is.  Hopefully this helps others seeking help to move on themselves.

Seeing the world through a reality/dream lens will improve your perception and predictions of the world as well and prepare you for the future.

The past has happened, it's set in stone and can't be changed. The futures unwritten.  You're far better off working towards a better future than being hung up on the past not going as planned.

A bonus item as this took me year's to find out and is well worth sharing 

We plan maticulasly down to the last details and expect everything to be perfect, but as we all know that's never the case.  But why?  Our plans where perfect?

That's because we don't live in a black or white universe we live in a universe of odds.  For example you go to McDonald's for a burger.  Black and white thinking would say you get one.  Odds thinking saying your far more likely to get one if you go, but there's still a chance they don't have any, something happens on the way there preventing you from getting it or something happens after you get it that means you can't eat it.

We all know we live in an odds universe, but we act far more often than we should as if we're in a black/white universe.

Back to relationships.  We plan that if we do x, y and Z we'll get there love.  Black and white.  What we really should be telling ourselves is that if we do x, y and Z we increase our odds of them falling in love. 

And even at a 99% success rate we can still fail.  Take COVID for instance.  A 99.5% survival rate still resulted in all those million's of deaths.

Even when we plan and execute everything perfectly, we never reach 100%.  100% doesn't exist when it comes to complex matters.  Variables outside of our knowledge are always at play tweaking the odds.  The best we can do is move those odds in our favourite, roll the dice and hope for the best.

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life. - Cptn. Jean Luc Picard