My Arch-Enemies

1. The Sun

I'm a melanoma survivor. The sun is trying to kill me.

2. Wasps

I accidentally kicked a wasps' nest that I didn't see on a low-hanging branch when I was six. They gave me seven stings and I needed to be given anti-histamines. It's been a war between me and them ever since.

3. Tailgaters

People who follow too closely on the road; not people who party in the parking lot at football games.

4. People Who Congregate/Socialize In Swim Lanes

5. People Who Use the R-Word