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Bill Bergeman


My LIVE Hot Takes From Eavesdropping On a First Date

At this moment, I'm sitting at one of my usual coffee shops and lo and behold a young couple (late 20's) sitting next to me are clearly on a first date, as determined by the typical getting-to-know-you first date conversation. Here are my live hot takes.

    1. Dude is talking way too much.

    He's talking about 70-80% of the time, whereas she should be talking that much. Fail on his part.

    2. He's offering his opinion on Mormons.

    Maybe save that one for a future date. Or maybe bring it up never.

    3. They're a good looking couple.

    If there's a date #2, which I think is dubious, they could potentially make for an attractive couple.

    4. He's trying way too hard to impress her with his outdoorsy lifestyle.

    I'm all for being outdoorsy, but he's giving the hard sell on how cool his life is. Dial it down a couple notches, bro.

    5. She seems interested but unsure.

    He's a good looking dude, so I think she's into that aspect of him, but again, he's droning on and I can tell she's getting bored from it all. She keeps looking around the café and not giving him her full attention.

    6. During a rare moment when she was talking, he interrupted her to stand up and go pick up their coffee.

    He could have easily waited for her to finish her thought. Fail!

    7. The date is over now, but what does the NotePD AI have to say?

    Even though they left the coffee shop, I'm going to let AI fill in some more details below (h/t to @lovingkindnesscomedy for the idea).

    8. Serial Killer.

    It's always a red flag when someone seems a little too into you from the getgo. This guy was no different. He was extra charming and charismatic, and the girl he was on a date with seemed to be eating it up. But something about the way he talked about his exes made me feel uneasy.

    9. Catfish.

    I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my friend to arrive for our lunch date when I noticed a guy sitting alone at a table, eyeing the door. Every time a woman walked in, he would do a double take. This happened at least three times before his date finally arrived.

    10. Stalker.

    This guy was so nervous, it was actually kind of sweet. He was sweating, fidgeting, and rambling on and on about how he's had a crush on his date since high school. But then he started talking about how he's been following her on social media and knows everything about her.

    11. Creeper.

    This guy was nice enough, I guess. But he was a little too eager to share that he likes all the same things as his date

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