My process for making failure constructive
I wrote this in second person which may imply I believe the process to be universally helpful/correct. Not meant to have that tone-- this may be unhealthy/impractical for others... maybe not?
1. Take the hit
Don't try to get around the loss. Don't rationalize, don't forgive, don't sympathize. Radically feel consequence.
2. Give failure lots of room for little time
This is where the lesson internalizes. Explore the failure- roots, actions, nuances. Allow it to consume you temporarily(!). The fixation is effective for both identifying solutions and for the last step
Distance yourself from emotional stigma. If the shame persists, so too does the fear. In that case, when met with a similar circumstance you'll be unable to operate in confidence and power and will revert to your worst instincts to inevitably repeat the mistake.