Ten Ideas for New Sports / Changes to Current Sports
Been in an odd place mentally lately - here's some silly, some impractical sports. All fodder for ESPN 197.
1. Track & Field, But Backwards
Running, throwing, and jumping, but all backwards. Still don't think we're ready for javelin catching. Yet.
2. Ball Swap
Make players use a different ball - a football for basketball, a lacrosse ball for a baseball, etc.
3. Kong Ball
Similar to Ball Swap, but replace all sport balls with a similarly sized Kong dog toy.
4. Mall Walking
Either for speed or endurance ("the Twenty Four Hours of X Mall). But have challenges in the empty stores - hot dog eating, ax throwing, cornhole, horseshoes, and such. Maybe on roller skates. Maybe with water obstacles. And random characters like MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge) getting in the way.
5. Parking Lot Squeeze
Like Musical Chairs, but in a parking lot.
6. Upperclass Twit of the Year Races
Yes, just like the Monty Python bit, but with real upperclass twits. With Pat McAfee on color commentary.
7. American Football - Randomize the Field
Using LED lights instead of paint, have the field randomly change - longer, wider, shorter, narrower - during and/or after each play. Maybe the randomization can be done by a roulette wheel, and when the new field is set, measure for first downs or see if a play is now a touchdown. And that toe-tap inbounds catch? Hah - now he's two yards out of bounds.
8. Basketball - Randomize the Basket
Same concept, except the rim / backboard shift randomly in a two or three foot range. Makes the slam dunk a lot more of a challenge for seven foot players.
9. Fire Tennis
The ball is lit on fire automatically after it is served. Point goes to the last person to hit the ball before it stops bouncing due to consumption by the heat.
10. Nut Kicking Challenge
From what I see on the little TV I watch, it seems like face slapping has become a mainstream sport. Let's go the whole way on the infliction of pain with this one. Start with bare feet, work up to steel-toed boots.