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Ten Really Bad New Year's Resolutions

Setting up for success!

    1. Drink more soda and coffee instead of water

    Because who needs hydration when caffeine exists?

    2. Binge-watch every TV series ever made

    Who needs fresh air or sleep when you have streaming?

    3. Respond to work emails only in emojis

    Productivity will definitely skyrocket.

    4. Eat dessert before every meal, including breakfast

    Because life is short, so why not dessert first?

    5. Spend more time doom-scrolling social media

    Keep those stress levels up!

    6. Procrastinate everything until the last possible moment

    Why do it now when you can panic later?

    7. Avoid learning anything new this year

    Ignorance is bliss, right?

    8. Only work out by walking to the fridge

    Fitness is relative, after all.

    9. Adopt as many new pets as possible, without thinking it through

    Your landlord and wallet will love it.

    10. Start a hobby of collecting junk mail

    Because nothing says “fun” like a stack of unsolicited offers!

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