Ten Reasons To "Prove" Aliens Exist
1. Airport security lines
No human civilization would willingly design a system this inefficient. Clearly engineered by beings with no concept of time, knees, or dignity.
2. The fact that cats exist
They stare at nothing, ignore their owners, and seem to be transmitting data somewhere. They are obviously extraterrestrial surveillance devices with fur.
3. IKEA assembly instructions
Wordless diagrams that somehow make sense to no one, yet furniture gets built anyway. This is alien telepathy at work.
4. The pyramids
Not because humans couldn't build them, but because the project manager who kept thousands of workers on schedule clearly wasn't from around here.
5. Candy corn
Nobody likes it. Nobody buys it willingly. Yet it always exists, in infinite supply. Where is it coming from?
6. The fact that we still use fax machines
An alien civilization is absolutely on the other end, confused but delighted, still receiving our blurry documents.
7. Golf
A species that invented roller coasters and deep-dish pizza also invented a game where you quietly walk and feel bad. Something is off.
8. The number of people who've said "I'll sleep when I'm dead"
Sleep deprivation on this scale suggests we are being quietly experimented on. The aliens are studying what happens when you watch one more episode at 2 AM. For science.
9. The existence of glitter
No one knows where it comes from, where it goes, or how to get rid of it. Classic alien tech.
10. Octopuses exist
Eight arms, three hearts, blue blood, can open jars… feels like they’re just visiting.
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