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Ten Things My Dog Thinks Are Emergencies

    1. The mailman approaching the sacred mailbox

    2. A squirrel making unauthorized eye contact

    3. Someone opening a bag that might contain snacks

    4. The doorbell ringing on TV

    5. A leaf moving across the yard with intent

    6. The vacuum cleaner escaping from its closet

    7. A family member leaving the room without clearance

    8. The food bowl being empty between meals

    9. Another dog existing somewhere in the neighborhood

    10. Someone sitting in the chair that clearly belongs to him

    11. Any vehicle passing the house... especially the Amazon van

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