The Road to Character - by David Brooks

Here's a few ideas extracted from David Brooks' book "The Road to Character" (2015).

1. Qualities - distinguish between CV (résumé ) qualities and Eulogy qualities

Qualities
• Distinguish between
o CV (résumé ) Qualities – external
o Eulogy – internal
• Develop our eulogy qualities first
• Success can result in greatest failure – pride
• Failure can result in greatest success – humility
• Moral improvements happen best when we associate with people that we admire, and whose behaviour we imitate
• It’s the small details of our life that matter
• Respond softly to a harsh challenge
• Be silent when unfairly abused
• Be restrained when provoked
• Don’t be boastful or self-righteous

2. The shift - from grateful to entitled

The Shift
• The “narcist epidemic”
• We’ve gone from
o No one is better than me, and I am no better than anyone else
• To
o Look at me, I’m special
• Humility leads to wisdom
• Wisdom is not knowledge, it is a quality
• Character must be built; we’re not born with it
• Self-respect = making and keeping commitments to myself and to others
• Worldly success of fame, wealth, etc is not satisfying

3. Self-Conquest - Eisenhower

Self-conquest - Eisenhower
• The ability to ward off slothfulness and self-indulgence
• Disciplined hard work is better than a brilliant mind
• Hatred is futile – it harms only the person who holds it
• The battle I fight is against myself –
o My laziness
o My pride
o My self-pity
o My Vanity
o My boastfulness
o My folly
o My cowardice
• Self-control – a muscle that we can develop
• Eisenhower overcame his fearsome anger: anger cannot win; it cannot even think clearly
• Eisenhower - avoid the temptation of living only for today, and plundering our resources for tomorrow

• Character is the main object of education
• Humility is the greatest virtue
• It’s fair to ask: what do I want from life, but I must also ask: what can life expect from me? To be an upright man
• Little acts of self-discipline guard against self-indulgence and self-glorification

4. Self-mastery - General George Marshall

• Do everything right. “Sweat the small stuff”. No slips, no compromise
• Be persistent in doing small things well
• Succeeded through hard work and self-discipline
• How we do the smallest thing is how we do everything

5. Dignity – A. Philip Randolph

• Lived a life of civility, humility, decency, and dignity
• It is impossible to humiliate a man of dignity
• Strict non-violence – “prayer protests”
• March to Washington – 1963
o Orderly but not subservient
o Proud but not arrogant
o Non-violent but not timid

6. The Humility Code

• Seek holiness, not happiness – life is a moral drama, not a hedonistic one. There is no satisfaction in all the trappings of success, without a sound moral foundation
• Recognise our true state – I am flawed. I tell lies. I am a coward. I am prone to laziness and selfishness. I am self-centred and believe that the world revolves about me. I believe that I am somehow special and unique and better than anyone else. I exaggerate my skills and abilities and rationalise and excuse my mistakes and follies. I over-estimate my strengths and I give in to short term desires
• But despite our flaws, we do aspire to goodness
• Humility is an accurate assessment of our nature and place in the world. I am not special and not one of a kind. Nothing special happened the day that I was born
• Pride is the worst vice. It blinds me to my true state. It makes me think more highly of myself; it deludes me into thinking that I am in control. It closes my mind to improvement; it makes me cruel; it makes me compete with others to prove that I am better.
• Once the necessities of life have been met, the key battle is spiritual and moral; the battle is for virtue over vice.
• Character is the result of inner confrontation – I become more disciplined, considerate, and loving through thousands of small acts
• Short-term desires lead us astray
• The struggle against weakness requires self-effacement, reticence, modesty, and obedience
• Wisdom – knowing how to behave when information is incomplete