Tips to get along with others
I've worked in few Organizations even as an introvert where office politics play and of course I see people around me all the time as Clients, Neighbours trying to get along.
I've seen relationships go cold many times and most times I had zero idea what to do about it.
There's need to establish healthy and genuine relationships with others, burn fewer bridges and keep your dignity afterwards.
It all starts with getting the foundatin right:
- Be human.
- Acknowledge when you make a mistake
- Forgive when its necessary
- Quit the revenge cycle.
- Be Kind.
1. Don't be afraid to be yourself:
Its easy to where a mask and fake somebody you're not especially when you're new to a place - until shit hits the fan.
You realize people have been taking you for who you're not. But its not their fault - they only went along with the mask and impression you were giving.
E.g. an Introvert faking enjoying long and boring talks.
People will appreciate you more if you are genuine and authentic.
2. Communicate effectively:
It can be hard if you're quiet but it takes practice and willigness to open up more and go straight to the point else most people would misunderstand you.
And remember your communication is not effective - until they can properly understand you when you talk.
Make sure to communicate your needs and wants clearly so that there is no misunderstanding.
3. Have boundaries
Most failed relationships are due to adopting the wrong relationship rules or not adhering to any boundaries or healthy relationship rules at all.
If you want to get along well with others - create boundaries from day #1 and respect other's boundaries.
4. Avoid Gossip
You may never know how toxic gossip is in a work place or neigbhourhood if you're always minding your business.
But once you join the gossip network for any reason - you're tossed.
Its a negative energy.
Today, A is the target. Tomorrow its B. Next is You.
The only way to break out is Avoid. Stop engaging in Gossips.
5. Avoid complaining
It boils down to communicating effectively and handling conflicts head-on.
Complaining is a metastatic cancer that never brings any solution.
And like Jack Canfield in "Success Principles" would say - 'you're complaining to the wrong person.'
Fact is each time i was stuck in complaining - i did a revealuation of all the people i was complaining to.
90% it were people who had no control over the issue or it were people that worsened cases.
6. Listen emphatically
One of the best ways to build better relationships with others is to simply be a good listener.
This means really paying attention to what the other person is saying and not interrupting them.
I know people that fake listening and come back complaining of how a random person would open up so much and pour their life problems on their head - meanwhile thinking they were listening.
This is the worst habit you can cultivate - it shows zero respect for your time and the person's trust.
Learn to listen emphatically.
7. Confront issues head on
Avoidance will only make things worse in the long run - face conflicts head on in order to work through them and come out stronger on the other side.
It applies even to the previous idea on listening - if you feel someone is wasting your time with their misery story - ask for excuse and leave.
Stop avoiding handling conflict issues just because you're afraid of how people are going to react.
8. Give it time
Each time you see relationships go cold, most times neither of you were depositing in your emotional bank accounts. Rather you were withdrawing ruthlessly.
It dried up.
You can't magically deposit the full amount in one day or question the other party for not making efffort immediately.
* Be willing to give others “space” instead of pressuring to resolve right away.
9. Lead with compassion
What if you noticed all the people that gave you the most trouble or difficulty in getting along were on one prescription drugs or another, treating one ailments or the other?
It happened recently to me - i noticed many people that were on my neck were battling with one health issue or the other on the side.
My heart immediately was filled with compassion right away. They could be my "patients" (I studied Pharmacy)
Or I could be the patient tomorrow (and may silently expect everyone to have compassion on me).
10. Drop the Ego
This can be hard for everyone - exactly why i wrote this.
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