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Bill Bergeman


10 Practical Ways to Turn Someone Off When You're Dating

No matter how much people say they don't like to play games when dating, the fact is dating is nothing but a game.

And like all games there are rules. While some rules can be broken and the outcomes are desirable, there are other rules that, when broken, will always lead to unpleasant results.

    1. Have bad breath.

    This one needs no explanation.

    2. Tell bad jokes.

    A lot of people, especially guys, feel the need to be extra funny when they first start dating someone.

    This is an opportunity to check yourself.

    Indeed, humor goes a long way toward connecting with someone, and it's fun. But, be real with yourself: are you actually funny? Is that joke you always tell to the boys appropriate when you're on a date? You don't want to deliver any duds that will result in you walking home alone after dinner.

    3. Don't have a story.

    Have you been in the military? Did you backpack through Europe after college? Do you volunteer as Big Brother or Big Sister?

    If your life doesn't have some sort of interesting narrative, then your date is going to get really bored, really fast.

    4. Don't have fun.

    Dates are supposed to be fun. If you show up dour, or you treat the experience like a job interview, then no one is going to want to spend any more time with you.

    5. Be disrespectful.

    It's cool to tease and have fun, especially as you continually get to know someone. It builds chemistry and it keeps things interesting.

    But there is a giant, cavernous difference between goofing on someone for a ketchup stain on their shirt and telling them they need to drop a few pounds to be with this hero. Believe it or not, I actually heard a guy say that to a girl years ago.

    6. Don't have anything valuable to offer.

    Similar to having an interesting life story, if you don't offer much value for a romantic relationship, then it's going nowhere. Do you have a vision for your life that you're working on? Do you take care of your fitness? Are you interested in sharing fun experiences with someone or are you just there for one thing?

    7. Don't be curious.

    You gotta be curious about the other person. If you're there just to talk about how great you are, and you don't want to get to know the other person, then why are you there at all?

    8. Pretend to be interested when you're not.

    I see this happen with people who are insecure about their relationship status. They feel they always have to be with someone, so if they have someone right in front of them they'll take that person - even if they aren't interested.

    This is a terrible basis to form a relationship, and sooner or later - probably sooner - your true feelings are going to shine through.

    9. Have too much energy.

    I like enthusiastic people. Bringing the positive vibes to any relationship dynamic always makes for a good time.

    But if you dial it all the way up to Randy Macho Man Savage level, then you're just going to be an embarrassment.

    10. Have too little energy.

    At the same time, you want to be interesting and fun, not gloomy. Smile, tell interesting stories, and have a great time. Try to hit about a 7/10 on the energy/enthusiasm scale.

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