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Yiğit Çakar


10 Reasons Why Sexuality Should NOT Be Antagonized

I was reading Cory Doctorow's twitter thread about Tumblr's ban on sexual content at https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/29/go-nuts-show-nuts/#chokepoints and it got me thinking. I am originally from the most progressive city in Turkey (Mugla) and I am currently living in one of the most progressive neighborhoods in Turkey (Moda, Istanbul). I am well traveled within my country, which usually has a stricter stand on sexuality than the Internet and most western societies, and I have no doubt that letting sexuality be part of everyday life is one of the smartest actions for a society. Here are ten reasons why:

    1. Normalizes nudity

    Especially if you are on the conservative side, you might think that normalizing nudity is exactly what you are against. But most of society's problems stem from hiding people's bodies. Most of the differences between male and female bodies are superficial, and if you let people understand this fact, most of the pervertness of human society dissipates.

    In most of Turkey, the female body is something that should be covered because Islam thinks that female bodies tempt people to sin. And in those areas of Turkey, people kill each other all the time because they had sex with each other's family members, raped somebody, raped somebody's animal, etc. Most of the incest cases happen there too. Women never feel safe, and they are forced to marry their rapists all the time.

    The women there cover their bodies, sometimes to the extreme, and the men living there spend their lives trying to see women's ankles and get sexual pleasure from that. They see women under the hijab and think their curves are so tempting.

    Let's move to where I am from. Mugla is full of beach towns, and we grow up seeing everybody without make-up and almost naked all the time. We had a summer house in Marmaris, one of the towns, and when I was eight, Dutch tourists started coming there, and their women felt safe enough to go off without their bikini tops. That summer was scandalous. The next summer, people got used to Dutch and wouldn't even look when somebody took their bikini off. Sexual pervertness? Almost non-existent.

    That's a bit on the extreme. Let's talk about how it is where I live now, Moda. Here, men and women dress however they like. Nobody bats an eye. Nobody stares at them, and if somebody does, other people talk with them and tell them that a man's legs are the same as a woman's. There is nothing inherently sexy about a woman's body. Pervertness? Almost non-existent.

    2. Promotes gender equality

    Once you start looking for similarities instead of differences between sexes, the binary thinking slowly disappears. Instead of categorizing people into men and women, you start thinking about individual strengths and weaknesses. Everybody feels safer expressing themselves. Men don't have to be emotionless macho robots. Women don't have to be on guard all the time. People stop seeing men and women, and start seeing humans. Everybody understands that other people are more or less like themselves, going through similar problems and trying to live in a society that pressures us from all fronts.

    3. Promotes non-binary thinking

    When people start normalizing sexuality and nudity and accepting the similarities of humanity, something peculiar happens. People understand that the dividing binary thinking isn't the only way to look at the world. Men have feminine sides. Accepting emotions, being calmer and more fragile makes a man's life way better. Women have masculine sides. They are ferocious, strong, capable, and would beat a man in many perceivably masculine tasks. But that's not all. You understand that it is okay for a man to love another man. Why not? Humans are not much different from each other anyway. A person who was born with a vagina might feel too masculine and feel bad that their body is too feminine. You can understand that the way they feel and the way they look might create some cognitive dissonance. It is as understandable as a man's being extremely masculine. And this acceptance and understanding goes beyond the sexes. Once you start thinking beyond binaries, you start seeing the world in a continuum. Most of the categories are man-made, and it is freeing to get rid of them.

    4. Reduces sexual crime

    There are many reasons for sexual crime. Once people start normalizing sexual activity, different sexes, and nudity, they stop obsessing over sex, and that mental obsession with sex is the main starting point for many sexual predators. It is hard to move beyond ethical boundaries without the presence of a dark, unhealthy obsession. Breaking somebody else's personal boundaries and hurting them is even harder.

    5. Reduces incest

    I don't understand the reasons for incest, and I won't act as if I do. But there is almost no evidence of incest in more sexually open parts of Turkey, while there is an incest case in almost every family in conservative parts.

    6. Reduces beastiality

    In conservative, rural areas of Turkey, there is a lot of beastiality going on. In those areas, a woman's virginity is deemed extremely important, even sacred. In those areas, a lot of men resort to beastiality. Poor donkeys, goats, and even dogs are getting raped.

    I have never heard of anyone who has a more liberal approach to sex that sees a poor animal as a sexual object.

    7. Frees the mind

    We all remember being teenagers and how much we were obsessed with sex and with our own identities. Even though we had much more energy and time, our creativity was stumped. As we get more comfortable with sex and our identities, our minds are opened up to other possibilities.

    People who are not living in sexually open societies continuously live with a teenager's mind. Most of their thoughts revolve around sex, and they always question their identity.

    8. Increases creativity

    Non-binary thinking and seeing connections between seemingly separate things are the pillars of creativity. Once you make these parts of your life in one regard, it is easy to bring them to other parts of your life and reach conclusions and insights you have never had.

    There is a reason that some of our most esteemed creatives are also the most experimental with themselves and their sexuality.

    9. Increases female safety

    Let's accept that most of the risks females face in the contemporary world come from men, especially from men who cannot see that the differences between females and males are mostly superficial. Sex has been the reason for pushing females to the status of "other", which cemented most of the problems females had to face.

    10. Increases relationship quality

    As people accept who they are, see other people as who they are, and are open to possibilities, they also understand what kind of people they like to be with. They understand who they find attractive. They understand what they find sexy. They understand what they expect from their life. They understand what they expect from relationships. Moreover, they are better, more secure, and more creative people themselves, so they have more to provide in a relationship. They become less judgemental and constricting. They become more understanding. They don't act as if they own the other person. All of these things create better relationships.

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