10 Terrible Wrestling Gimmicks
On the off chance you are or ever plan to become a wrestling promoter, don't hire these guys! These "talents" will enhance no show and are sure to put any promotion out of business.
1. The Undersecretary
A former disgruntled government worker who was fired for anger issues and is now looking to cut the red tape by bodyslamming the competition.
2. The Steel Eel
A former Olympic swimmer looking to make a splash in the world of professional wrestling. He always makes sure to wear his swimming cap and goggles on his way to the ring. His move-set mostly consists of dives from the top rope.
3. Busboy Jones
A restaurant worker looking to supplement his salary by working at the catering tables of wrestling events. Has a habit of picking fights with wrestlers who don't clean up after themselves, especially after brawls spill into the backstage areas.
4. Dedrick Mendel Vidal - DMV
A corrupt department of motor vehicles worker who managed to scheme his way into the promotion by promising to reinstate the promoter's suspended driver's license.
5. The Middle Manager
An evil authority figure looking to transition from team leading to team beating. With a steel chair.
6. Dr. Perry Diatrist - DPM
A podiatrist whose repertoire consists of stomping on the feet of his competition in hopes of converting them into new patients.
7. Gridiron Gladiator
A failed football player who can't let go of his dream to be the star quarterback of his favorite American football team. His ring attire consists of shoulder pads and helmet which he grudgingly removes before his matches after a stern warning from the referee. His interviews are littered with various football terms and a copious amount of "hut hut hut hike!"
8. CC Hennin
A spoiled brat of a man who looks like he hasn't seen the sun in about six months. Cowardly and unathletic, his only defense is his hired security guards, paid for by his mother's credit card.
9. Lumberjack Daniels
This alcoholic woodsman is a menace to trees and wrestling rings everywhere! His signature maneuver is to chop down the ringpost with his axe whenever his opponent attempts to climb the turnbuckle to perform a high-flying move.
10. Mixologist Mike
Lumberjack Daniels' occasional tag team partner is a crafty bartending veteran. When he can't inebriate his opponents by spiking the punchbowl in catering, he is sure to get the last call with his variety of sleeper holds.
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