10 things I learned from "Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals" by Heidi Grant Halvorson Ph.D.
1. Concentrate and discover the difference between the WHY and the HOW of doing things: Move between them
Why do I want to go on vacation (relax, sightsee)? How do I go on vacation (pack bags, arrange time off, etc)?
If you have a goal to write a book ask: why do I want to write this book? To become an expert in XYZ. When you struggle to actually write it you should transition to what. What do I need to do to write the book? Outlining. Write the first chapter. And so on.
2. Things in the future are usually described as why
3. Things in the present and immediate are described as the how
4. Believe that you will succeed, but don’t get fooled into thinking that you will easily succeed
5. Consider both what you want and what stands in your way
For example, if you want a new car, you might have to figure out how you are going to make the payments. Consider the situation from both perspectives, finding a suitable car and finding a way to pay for it.
6. Be specific in your goals. Lose 5 pounds instead of lose some weight.
If you’re planning to lose weight, simply saying, eat less and exercise more is not a plan. The plan includes exactly what where when and how. So for example, you would say eat an egg, white and avocado for breakfast at 8:30 go for a walk at nine , lift weights at 1:30, etc.
7. Incentives can frequently destroy a goal if they are not aligned.
The author gives an example of a kid who loved to read until he was assigned to have to read for half an hour at a time, and killed his desire to read.
8. There are two strategies in negotiation. One is a promotion focus, and the other one is a prevention focus
In a prevention focus, you’re trying to prevent loss, and in a promotion focus, you’re trying to get new things. Depending on what the negotiation is either strategy would be productive, but it is helpful to know which plan you are employing. You can even combine them for example, with the prevention strategy, you don’t want to lose something you have, but in promotion strategy, you want to get something that you don’t have.
Promotion is about what you have to gain and prevention is about what you have to lose. In most negotiations, you end up better off with the promotion strategy because the prevention strategy causes you to worry too much and miss opportunities.
Try to turn prevention goals into promotion goals. Even something that might be simple. You can ask yourself. How can this task make me better in the future or how can I prove my performance on this task