10 Things I've changed My Mind about in the Past Two Years

You gotta watch the F1 behind the scenes show on Netflix. It's fantastic. I don't know what it's called. I know for a fact I have said in conversations "racing is super boring it's just cars going around in circles." I still don't totally understand it but the story of what is going on behind the scenes is awesome. I am a sucker for well edited footage. I like who you want me to like and sometimes I rebel against the editor but I always want to see the next episode. I now want to go to an F1 race. I still don't know how anyone got into F1 racing before this show came out. @JamesAltucher You gotta dress up as Mattia Binotto for Halloween some year.

This is the hardest one to type out because I wanted them for so long. I wanted them really bad for SO long. I decided to make my career working with kids because if I wasn't currently having them, I wanted to be surrounded by them. I spent my first 5 years of teaching surrounded by magical little creatures. They were emotional and had their moments but I just wanted to squeeze their cute cheeks at the end of the day. The last two years have put me through it. I am 40 now and while I could still probably have kids. I don't think I want them anymore. I have been put through it. The screaming, throwing things, kicking, punching, biting, swearing and dysregulation of 4 year olds is more than I can handle. The school system is really not great and if I were to have a child I couldn't afford top of the line Private School. It makes me sad and I cry about it but I don't think I could do it anymore.

This one is crazy because I have hated soccer since I was like 8 years old. Hated. I played in 1st grade and I didn't know my left hand from my right hand. That is something you need to know in 1st grade if you're going to play any sport. I was embarrassed every time I took the field. My boyfriend loves soccer. Last year I watched the world cup with my dad. I was surprised he was watching but he couldn't speak and my sister, brother and I were visiting, so we had something on in the background. I started to get curious. This week, we started watching another Netflix show about Sunderland. I wasn't sure if I would get into it but I was hooked by the end of the first episode. It's the story again.

7 Years ago I thought I had found my calling. I was so excited to be a Preschool teacher. I loved every minute of it. Time flew by and I never felt like I was really working. My job has now turned into the first line of defense in education. I get the kids who have not been in school yet. They don't know how to be social and most of them haven't been given their supports yet. I don't have training in how to support a full classroom of kids with special needs. I don't know if it's just my school district but it feels like 75% of my students are eligible for an IEP. We need support and no one.. I mean no one wants to work with kids right now. I can't do it alone. Shoot I can't do it with just me and my assistant. It's so hard.

This is a weird one. I have always been amused and amazed by Walt Disney. He is awe inspiring. I have always found him fascinating. I do however think everything involved with Disney is a tad overpriced. Last year, I was gifted a trip to Disney World. I needed that trip. I needed any trip. Most important I think I needed that trip. I needed to see that there was still magic out there somewhere. I was able to be relaxed for the few days I was there until covid hit us. This year I was gifted another trip as a re do. I went deep with it again. 40 days. I will be there in 40 days. I get to fall into that creative wonderland. I have watched about 20 animation films. I think I only saw 5 growing up. I feel like I am getting a chance to do my childhood over again. It's exciting.

Again. I never thought I would get into cars going around in circles. I watched the Netflix NASCAR show and I hate Denny Hamlin. I want to go to a race just to see him lose. I think I bought into that show a little too much. I still don't want to buy an RV or any souvenir from a NASCAR race but I just want to see him lose.

I have loved Black Tea since I was 11 maybe. I did this weird thing at sleepovers in middle school. My mom had tea cups and saucers she had since she was a girl in the 50's. I would take them out and make me and my friends Black Tea. We would put a ton of sugar in it and drink it after my mom had gone to bed. Who was I? I continued to enjoy it and totally dislike coffee and coffee related drinks until I was in college. I took a Sensitivity Test and guess what.. I have a moderate sensitivity to Black Tea. Once I stopped drinking it my body functioned a lot better. I am sad about this. I still didn't buy into Green Tea until this year. I really didn't like the taste of Coffee for some reason. I just dove head first into Green Tea and actually started to enjoy it.

I was addicted to Adderall from the time I was 11 to the time I was 30. It took a lot to get me off of it. I needed anti depressants quite a few times in my life. That was also hard to come off of. I did it. I got off both. Last year was a really hard year for me. Work was really hard and my dad died. I needed something to help me stop from having constant racing thoughts in my head. I asked a teledoc for anti anxiety medications. Not the kind that I can get addicted too but just something to help me function better. It helped. I was regulated. I am still freaked out about work sometimes and stress over stupid things but I am functioning. I wish I didn't need it right now but I do. My goal for 2025 is to not be in a profession where I need it.

This one might be more of a stretch. I wanted a dog so bad when I was in Middle School. I also wanted one that I could walk during the Pandemic. However, having very little money.. It is hard to justify having a dog. Well, I moved in with boyfriend and he has a Mini Australian Shepherd. I am still not 100% use to it. I will not be the one taking him out in the morning if it's cold. I get really annoyed when he just stands on my lap. I also find it odd when he stands in front of the couch and just stares at me. It makes me pretty uncomfortable. The shedding is totally annoying. I really do enjoy having him in my life. I have realized that dogs are like children and children are like dogs.

These were the other three things on my list of things that I have a sensitivity too. I love them. I want them. I want cheese. I really want pineapples. I would eat them in my omelettes or on my pizza. I miss that sweetness. There really isn't another fruit I can replace it with. Cashews are like the most fabulous nut. They are like creamy and delicious. I still have dairy from time to time because sometimes you just need some ice cream that isn''t made with alternative milk.