10 Toxic Friends That Will Bring You Down
Recently, I've had to prune some friends from my inner circle. It became clear to me that some people who've been with me for a long time no longer are rooting for me. I accept this as a natural part of life. Pruning your friend list and cutting people out of your life who have been a part of it previously is never fun, but it is important to do and healthy. True friends are rare. Most people that we meet are in our lives for seasons.
From The Modern Man
1. The Negative Friend
There’s nothing wrong with looking at the positives and negatives of a situation, but the Negative Friend will always focus on the negatives. No matter what good thing has happened to you, this type of toxic friend will always find a way to point out the downside or potential negatives of it.
Got a promotion? He’ll tell you how much more work and pressure you will now have. Gotten yourself a new girlfriend? He friend will remind you of your past romantic failures and why this one is just as likely to end badly.
Bought a new car? He’ll research the statistics on why the car you purchased was a poor choice and then tell you about the other cars that he thinks would have been a better choice.
In short, no matter what happy event lights a positive fire in your life, he’ll be the wet blanket that puts it out. From his perspective, the world is doomed and everyone is a lying, greedy asshole who can’t be trusted.
2. The “It’s All About Me” Guy
When you speak to this type of toxic friend, the conversation always revolves around him. Whatever is happening in his life is much more important than what’s happening in yours. He thinks he is cooler, better, smarter and more important than you, so you should just shut up and listen to him.
There is really no value in having “friends” like that in your life. Feel free to keep them as acquaintances, but life is so much better when you are only great friends with people who actually care about you.
3. The Compulsive Liar
A compulsive liar is someone who is more comfortable with lying that telling the truth. Lying is their automatic response to questions. They enjoy weaving big lies that go on for months and even years at a time.
This type of toxic friend will lie to you about anything and everything. It doesn’t matter how important something is to you, he will get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of lying to you and deceiving you than being a good, honest friend. When you catch him out in the lie, he will have all sorts of excuses for his actions, which will be additional lies. It never ends with a compulsive liar.
Relationships are built on trust. If you cannot fully trust your friend, you will never be able to have a great relationship.
You may still be able to maintain an “on again, off again” friendship, but the closeness that would share with a real friend will never be there with a Compulsive Liar Friend. You will always have your guard up and a compulsive liar and you will never know when you will catch them in yet another elaborate set of lies.
Instead of trying to make a friendship work with a friend who regularly lies with you, keep your distance from him. Don’t feel as though you can’t make friends with people who are honest and stick by their word.
For every liar in this world, you will find 10 people who are honest, loyal and have your best interests at heart. Most people in this world are good people, so don’t settle for liars who will stab you in the back when you least expect it.
4. The Moocher
A moocher is someone who always seems to want something from you, but never gives you much or anything in return.
The Moocher may not ask you for money directly, but he always seems to have forgotten his wallet or is running low on money when it comes time to pay for something.
He never offers to pick up a bill, he complains if he pays more than you on a bill, regularly takes things refrigerator or always expects you to provide him with some form of hospitality (food, booze, a place to party or a couch to sleep on).
This toxic friend is simply a deadbeat who will drain as much as he can from your wallet. A Moocher is not the type of friend you can count of in a time of need, so don’t be afraid to steer clear from his “friendship.”
When you begin avoiding a Moocher, they will usually begin hassling the next easy target they can find. The Moocher will often ask to be introduced to your friends, so he has other people to mooch from. Avoid those introductions if possible, because he will do the same thing to them.
5. The Steal Your Girlfriend Guy
No matter much you love you your girlfriend, this toxic friend will gladly give up your friendship for a chance to hook up with her. He will flirt with her right in front of you, send her private messages and even try to catch up with her when you’re not around.
Guys like this are usually desperate and insecure and will hardly, if ever, approach a woman that they don’t know. Instead of being a man and approaching a woman on his own, a guy like that tries to steal what you have.
If you tell him to stop hitting on your girlfriend, he’ll tell you that you shouldn’t be so insecure. He’ll explain that if your girlfriend really wanted to be with you, she wouldn’t be showing much interest in him.
A great friend knows that he should only act like a friend to your girlfriend, instead of trying to attract her with every seduction trick he has in his arsenal. Friends who try to attract and pick up your girlfriend are simply not trustworthy and loyal enough to be a close friend.
Explain your concerns to the toxic friend and if he changes, keep his as a friend. If he doesn’t, ditch him completely without a second thought. Friendship is nothing without loyalty and untrustworthy friends like that will always screw you over in the end.
6. The Constant Corrector
Have you ever met someone who always tries to find something to correct you about? Maybe you said a word wrong, you got the dates wrong when referring to a story or you don’t know the exact details of something.
The Constant Corrector will always be there to point out where you are wrong. You might be right 99% of the time, but he will focus on the 1%. Why? He’s insecure about his intelligence, competence and value as a human being.
In his insecure way of thinking, he feels that if he can just point out your faults and mistakes as often as possible, you will really need him as a friend because he seems to know everything.
Constant Correctors usually have little to no real friends because people just don’t feel good when interacting with them. Until a Constant Corrector changes his ways, steer clear of him. You do not need him.
Get some more emotionally balanced friends and enjoy life, rather than squabbling over trivial details or constantly having to apologize or admit that you’re wrong about little things.
7. The Malicious Guy
A malicious “friend” will secretly hope, wish even plan to make you fail. Since he is unhappy with his life and lack of success, a guy like this will want to see his “friends” suffer like him.
A toxic friend like this might intentionally encourage you to do things that will cause you harm, or to make decisions that he knows will cause you pain or troubles. If he doesn’t like to see you succeeding in a particular area, he will do whatever he can to bring you down to his level.
Having a friend like that in your life is always more harm than good. The malicious friend might seem like an innocent, charming and even loyal and trustworthy guy, but deep down, he hopes that you suffer and fail so he can feel good about himself.
8. The “I Can Top That” Guy
Whether a crisis has come your way, you’ve achieved something great or something funny has happened to you, the “I can top that!” toxic friend will talk about something that happened to him that was either worse, better or funnier – at least in his mind.
That’s fine every now and then, but the “I can top that” friend will do pretty it much every time. He wants you to think that he is better than you, his life is more interesting and that you should be so lucky to know him. He is insecure about his value to you, so he will constantly try to talk himself up.
You can usually help friends like that to become more secure by talking to them about how they always seem to want to top what you are saying. Some guys will respond to that by changing their ways, but the ones who never change should be avoided. They are usually just a huge waste of time and energy.
9. The Now You See Him, Now You Don’t Guy
This guy is only around when it suits him or when he needs something from you.
You may go for weeks or months without seeing this toxic friend or hearing from him. He won’t return your phone calls and you’ll think he’s vanished.
When he reappears (usually because his other ‘friends’ got wise to his toxicity and no longer want to hang out with him) he’ll tell you all about the wonderful adventures he’s had since last seeing you. If you ask him why he didn’t ask you to join him, he will have an excuse for every occasion.
This type of friend doesn’t really care about you and is better kept as a casual acquaintance until he matures and becomes a better man.
10. The Blabbermouth
Your first indication of trouble with this buddy is that he’s always talking about people behind their back. He loves to gossip, talk about other people’s relationships and share what he thinks they’re all doing wrong in their lives. He repeats things that he was obviously told in secret (“Listen, I told John I wouldn’t tell anyone about this, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you knowing.”)
If you think that you will never be the target of his type of disloyalty, think again. If it will make him feel “cool” to other people, he will tell almost anyone who’ll listen about the things you’ve shared with him and what his true opinion of you actually is.