10 Ways to Lose Weight
I thought I'd attempt a humours approach to this. Hope you enjoy.
Who needs two arms anyway?
Sweat it out. Easy.
3. Food poisoning
Clear out your insides. Refill with lighter foods /liquids.
4. Go bald
This has the added bonus of saving you money on shampoo and conditioner.
5. Stop checking
Can't weigh more if you refuse to check. Right?
6. Become a chef
Working in heat. Having tons of deadlines a day and getting screamed at non stop is bound to stress you out. This may lead to the win of losing your appetite, but it may also lead to you eating more to deal with the added stress. Only do as a last resort.
7. Have kids
... Or at least try to have them. Works up a great sweat and burns off all that food. This may fail when kids get older and refuse to eat all there food. As everyone knows it's then on dad too finish it.
8. Force others to eat more
You don't need to lose weight if everyone around you weighs more, you're suddenly seen as the healthy one.
9. Get drunk
I've lost many a thing whilst drunk.
Move to Japan and live a life of luxury as a sumo wrestler.