10 ways to respond when someone launches into a personal attack
1. Curosity
"What would make you say something like that? "
"How did you arrive at that conclusion?"
Source: Never Split the Difference
2. Outcome
"What are we trying to achieve here?"
Source: Never Split the Difference
3. Entitled Opinion
"Well, you are entitled to your anger and your opinions. I don't see it that way."
Source: Rethinking Narcissism
4. Rephrase what they said
Take what they say a paraphrase it. "Let me get this straight. You think it's a good idea to behave like that. [explain the way they are behaving in gross detail]"
Source: How to fail at everything and still win big
5. Disempowering Thoughts
"How does making a remark like that empower me or empower you in any way?"
6. Repetition
"Sorry I didn't hear what you said. Could you repeat that?" Keep doing it till they realize how poor their behaviour is.
7. Identify Cognitive Distortion and Neutralize
Example: Mind Reading
Counterpart: "You did that because you enjoy seeing my unhappy."
Response: What is something you think I don't believe about this topic.
Source: Loserthink
8. Walk away
You are not required to be the other person's punching bag. If things get heated. Just get up and walk away.
9. Reframing
Job Interviewer: I see that you have only stayed in company x for a year. Why do you think they didn't want you?
Response: It's not because they didn't want me. It's because I chose to leave to find better opportunities.
10. Humor
"Wow! What a welcome. I didn't realize they had cage fighters in Toronto"
Source: Gordon Ramsey
11. Diffusion
"I appreciate you being open and honest. Most people are not confident enough to speak their mind. I am the same way too. So let me be equally candid..."
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