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10 ways to respond when someone launches into a personal attack

10 ways to respond when someone launches into a personal attack

    1. Curosity

    "What would make you say something like that? "

    "How did you arrive at that conclusion?"

    Source: Never Split the Difference

    2. Outcome

    "What are we trying to achieve here?"

    Source: Never Split the Difference

    3. Entitled Opinion

    "Well, you are entitled to your anger and your opinions. I don't see it that way."

    Source: Rethinking Narcissism

    4. Rephrase what they said

    Take what they say a paraphrase it. "Let me get this straight. You think it's a good idea to behave like that. [explain the way they are behaving in gross detail]"

    Source: How to fail at everything and still win big

    5. Disempowering Thoughts

    "How does making a remark like that empower me or empower you in any way?"

    6. Repetition

    "Sorry I didn't hear what you said. Could you repeat that?" Keep doing it till they realize how poor their behaviour is.

    7. Identify Cognitive Distortion and Neutralize

    Example: Mind Reading

    Counterpart: "You did that because you enjoy seeing my unhappy."

    Response: What is something you think I don't believe about this topic.

    Source: Loserthink

    8. Walk away

    You are not required to be the other person's punching bag. If things get heated. Just get up and walk away.

    9. Reframing

    Job Interviewer: I see that you have only stayed in company x for a year. Why do you think they didn't want you?

    Response: It's not because they didn't want me. It's because I chose to leave to find better opportunities.

    10. Humor

    "Wow! What a welcome. I didn't realize they had cage fighters in Toronto"

    Source: Gordon Ramsey

    11. Diffusion

    "I appreciate you being open and honest. Most people are not confident enough to speak their mind. I am the same way too. So let me be equally candid..."

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