10 signs someone's motives are insincere

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1. Past actions dictate future behaviour

• If they have a history or pattern of behaviour of using other people.
• If they boast about how they use unethical ways of getting things from other people. There is nothing stopping them from using the same tactics on you.

2. They're assessing your usefulness by asking pointed questions

These could be things that might seem innocuous:

• What is your occupation? What city do you live in, marital status, the car you drive, etc
• What are your motivations? Do you crave status and prestige?
• Are you a rebel or a conformist?
• Are you a cerebral or an emotionally driven person?

3. Don't fall in love with potential

They make grandiose promises about how you will benefit from helping them without any tangible proof.

4. Don't court the flattery of others

Heavy compliments and sycophancy are red flags. Unfortunately, most of us fall prey to compliments and praise.

5. Validation / De-validation loop

I have observed that humans long to be accepted by others. As such, we want to have our beliefs and views validated. However, this can be our downfall.

Manipulators will often validate you about something you have done and then de-validate you about something else during the conversation. The idea is to gain leverage using emotional manipulation.

6. Consistently unreliable

If they make promises regularly and don't deliver, it is likely, that they are not genuine.

7. Once in a life oppurtunity or artificial deadlines

There is an abundance of opportunities and even if you miss out on something. It will eventually pop up somewhere else.

8. They seem more interested in themselves than your needs and difficulties.

9. If they always want favours and give little in return, avoid them.

10. They use emotional leverage to get you do things like shame, guilt and making unfair comparisons