I'm sure some of these will be controversial.
1. The Parenting GunThis started as a joke but became an effective tool in our house. When the kids were little and weren't listening to either their Mom or me, I would shoot them one time with a Nerf gun. Works every time. Instantly interrupts the behavior and gets their attention.
As a bonus, you have to work the action to load the Nerf dart. Now, the sound is enough to garner their attention.
2. Chores as Duties
Every member of the family has duties they are responsible for. If they don't do it, no one else picks up the slack.
These duties are expected behavior. There is not a reward for doing them. Not doing them has a natural consequence so punishment isn't necessary.
3. Push Them into the Deep End…... but don't let them drown. I use this term metaphorically, not literally. We routinely let and encourage our kids to take on more than anyone believes they can handle. When they fail, we provide the safety net. But as often as not, you get success instead.