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30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30: Part 1

My 20s were rough. I would not want to go back and relive my 20s, but I am happy I went through those years. I learned a lot about the world. I learned a lot about myself and I made mistakes that I will not be repeating again.

    1. Do not try to "fit in"

    I was kicked out of band, because I kept making my section laugh. I was kicked out of a fraternity, because I was having 'unsanctioned' events. I have so many characteristics that make it to a point where I will fit in with a crowd.

    First of all there is no such thing as 'fitting in'. Everyone lives inside their universe of thought. Most people only think about themselves.

    The best thing you could do for yourself is step out of line and be your own tribe. It takes a look of work to fit into a group that already exists and then you get stuck underneath someone that does not have your best interest in mind.

    2. Say 'no' more often

    Can you add this software feature?
    Can you come to my destination wedding?
    Can you work at this job for less than everyone else?

    I do not like to disappoint people. But as I have become older I do not like disappointing myself more than other people. Saying yes to things will get you into a lot of trouble. You will get overcommitted. You will say yes to things you cannot do or be because you want to make someone happy and then they will be disappointed when you cannot live up to the hype.

    Say no to other people, so you can say yes to yourself and the things that make you happy.

    3. Creativity is everything

    Start writing. Reading. And making YouTube videos.

    Be as creative as possible for as long as possible.

    4. You do not have to argue with people

    People love to hear themselves talk. They love to give their opinions and have people reflect their words back. It makes them feel less alone. Like they belong to a tribe. There is nothing wrong with this, it is human nature.

    You cannot convince anyone. It is each person's job to teach themselves. To find out the truth for themselves. I can tell a person the world is flat, but they have to do the research and make their own mind what they believe. People are allowed to believe crazy things. And things that are not true.

    It is not my job to convince someone else of the truth. It is my role to be creative and present what I believe.

    As a member of society, part of my role is to listen to information and search for the truth. Sometimes I might be wrong and I need to be corrected. And that is ok.

    More people need to learn how to 'agree to disagree'. And then be friends.

    5. You will be multiple things in your life

    My sister is a doctor. And she has wanted to be a doctor since she was a child. I'm a little different. I never had one job that I wanted to be. In a lot of ways I am still searching for my 'passion'.

    The truth is that I have had many passions and I will continue to have different passions as I continue to evolve. Humans are designed to do many different things.

    Maybe my passion is self discovery or learning.

    Do not sell yourself short. You can do many different things.

    6. Do not look for a romantic parter, they will come to you

    This advice applies to me, I think it could apply to others also, but it is probably not for the mainstream. I have never really formed a relationship from the dating apps.

    If I were single again and wanted to find a partner there are a few things I would do.
    1. Physical location - I would move to an area with a lot of people and try and live in a more affluent area, even if it was a tiny apartment.
    2. Start hosting dinner/drinks - try and find at least one friend and then expand. Friends, coworkers. Not romantic.
    3. Go to a meetup - Go to an event hosted by someone else
    4. Join some type of club - running, crossfit, investing, yoga

    The goal is to grow your social network and be proactive. People that are interesting get more attention = more dates.

    The more value you provide to other people: socially or professionally the more people will be attracted you.

    7. No one is going to teach you, you have to teach yourself

    One of the most annoying things about college was having 'attendance' be a portion of your grade. College classes force students to show up to class, but adding in an attendance grade.

    Some teachers are horrible. Sometimes sitting through a lecture is a giant waste of time.

    I will never forget going to a math class where the teach simply read directly from the textbook in a monotone voice and then assigned problems from that textbook. Learned nothing and had to go back and reread the chapter to understand how I was supposed to solve any of the problems.

    I have a pretty good memory. This eventually got me into trouble. In school I was good at memorizing. I would memorize a lot and vomit that information onto a test. I was not great at critical thinking only memorizing. This hurt me when I went to college and had to start thinking for myself.

    The truth is that teachers/professors are guides. They point the way to where you can find knowledge. You as the student must discover that knowledge and internalize it.

    You must be your own teacher. Now the question becomes: What do you want to learn?

    8. Start investing as soon as possible

    I have pretty much always had a job, but the only skill I knew what how to earn money and I was not even very good at that. I did not know there was this other skill called investing.

    Most rich people become and stay rich by investing.

    I wish I had started this in my teens instead of my late 20s. But you cannot go back only forward. So I am now investing as much as possible.

    9. Consistency is the most important skill

    You do not need to be good at something. Honestly, you could be bad at something, but if you do it consistently you will get better at it and you will provide value to other people in that consistency.

    People like what they know.

    Start being creative habitually and then work on monetizing it.

    10. Be brutally honest with yourself and others

    I'm gay.

    I did not say those words out loud till after I graduated from college. Because I felt like if I said those words I would be letting a lot of people down.

    But the alternative was worse. Instead I was lying to other people and myself. Deceit in one area can spread to other areas.

    People may not want to hear the truth. Many times the truth can be shocking and hard to deal with. People do not want to be uncomfortable. But brutal honesty is the healthiest way to live.

    I did not want to hear that my grandmother was dying or that I was being fired or broken up with.

    Hear the truth and then deal with it.
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