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10 small steps that will help you change and be the best version of yourself every day

So many times, if we are so much in the habit of doing something (or not doing anything) making a change turns out to be impossible to even start without feeling the "pain" of having to change.

Here are a few ideas to kick off with. They are so small that you cannot fail.

    1. Shift focus every end of day from the “still have to go through this to get there” list to the “today I’ve achieved this (no matter how small it is)” list.

    The goal of this is to keep yourself motivated by realizing that you are closer to where you want to be and go to sleep with that in mind. This boosts the positive thinking through the night and helps you wake up with positive /can do attitude.

    If these little achievements are also shared/celebrated with others (a group of close friends, family or team members) this will help motivating eachother to start with and keep the ball rolling.

    2. Choose one body part you want to start working out and find an exercise for it that doesn’t need any gym equipment and that you can do in 30sec-1min max.

    For people that have a habit of always sitting at a desk and simply not having the mood, need, will, time (...fill in with all the excuses) to work out even a bit, making that first step to change can seem like a mountain hike and we never get even started (to go to the gym i need 1h in the morning but i prefer taking time for my coffe/reading newspapers/need to help the kids... i can't start now, maybe later).

    If instead you get started with just a small excercise you can do quickly in the bathroom after you washed your teeth, or next to the bed, and it only takes 30 sec, then that will help you create a new habit.

    AND, most importantly, it will motivate you, it will make you feel like achieving a major "to do" from your list that you've always postponed. As time passes and as you build resilience , you may allocate more time (but only if you feel like it).

    3. Smile when you see yourself in the mirror

    Hopefully you know the feeling and smile you have when you see a person that you know will always be there for you, that always supports and/or fully understands you or at least you're on the same page with. You are (at least) one of those persons for yourself. So why not smile to yourself as well. It will help boost your confidence and positivity and "can do" attitude.

    4. Be mindful about what information you choose to absorb

    Listening to news can bring you down the negative spiral. If you feel down, refrain from reading/listening to news or meet people that, in that moment, you just don't feel they will help bring you positive vibes (sometimes it's just a moment and you can reconnect with them the day after, it doesn't mean you completely remove them from your life).

    When you read posts/talk to people (even the people you look up to) be mindfull about the information they give you and don't just consider it true. Always check more than one source! AND even if you feel you do agree with the person's point of view, still double check (if may be you will find out the information you and that person have is outdated and it's time for a full upgrade of beliefs).

    This helps in many ways, but most importantly it helps you control and define who you choose to be instead of going with the herd.

    5. Be mindful about the things you choose to care about

    There are many things to say about this topic but no one put it better than Mark Manson in his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck"

    The idea is not, not to care about anything but instead to choose where/what you spend your energy on.

    Also, choosing what to care about includes managing your notifications settings. Be mindful that when you want to get something done, interruptions are not helping. Part of choosing what to care about involves "in the moment" actions to help you focus on what you care (if you want to sleep put your phone on DND you can still leave your mother's number on favorites in case you're worried, if you want to get a task done then turn off email/chat notifications).

    6. Understand that people are different and that people that bother you/challenge you/piss you off are actually there to help you become a better you.

    When someone pisses you off it can be for many reasons.

    Choose to think about that person as an antagonist that is there to show you/ teach you something (it may be that you care too much about a topic and maybe you shouldn't or maybe you need to change your view about it).

    It's on you to identify what that something is but you can only do that when you learn to separate the person from the emotions he/she raises in you.

    As a rule, you need to always think that the responsibility is split in that interaction:

    - it is the responsibility of the other on what they choose to believe/say/behave (and you cannot control or even waste your energy to change that as it's really only a waste of time and energy)

    - IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY HOW YOU CHOOSE TO REACT (and that is the only thing you can control).

    So choose to focus on "why what this person said/did made me feel this way?" Instead of "this person is crap/stupid/worthless ".

    The side effect is you switch the focus on your development instead of wasing you energy with hate.

    7. Get a bit out of your comfort zone on a regular basis.

    It doesn't have to be a big thing like paragliding.

    Take a different route to go do your shopping, learn words in a new language, when in vacation take that side road you don't know where it's heading.

    If you expose yourself regularly and consciously on a regular basis to small new situations you will see you become less reluctant to changes that come your way and that you cannot control.

    Your mind will, when exposed to new situations, remember that new things are not necessarily bad/risky, it will help you focus on exploring the new situation rather than alarming you of the risk (and generating fear).

    8. Every once in a while stop eating before you feel your stomach is full

    Many of us feel that if we don't finish the plate it is a waste or perhaps we don't like to have that "i'm still hungry" feeling. Either way, exposing yourself by choice to "scarcity" builds up your resilience to better accept it if imposed on you.

    In most small cases, you may never even notice that you were exposed to scarcity when it does happen, just because you have already the habit of "moving on" from it instead of being "frustrated" about it (eg. you don't find a product in the supermarket that you wanted to use, instead of wasting the energy being frustrated now that you didn't find it, you move on and think you may find it in another supermarket tomorrow or next week).

    9. Choose to restrict yourself once in a while from the things that you take for granted

    Another way to expose yourself to scarcity is by doing your own type of "fasting" (you can do that not just for food but also on any habits or things you take for granted).

    For exampe, if you consciously restrict yourself from something you enjoy you will notice a few things as a side effect:

    - you enjoy it more when you allow yourself to eat/use/do it

    - you feel empowered by that fact that you control it not that you are dependent on it (it controls you)

    - you build resilience to it becoming a scarcity at some point or even disappearing from the market.

    10. Understand that not feeling happy/perfect/joyful all the time is OK and normal

    In today's society there is a lot of emphasis on feeling pleasure/being liked/being happy/ being successful.

    All these things are so subjective to the person itself that if we see we don't fit into the herd can make us feel "outsiders" and feed the negativity and can lead to depression .

    I can go on and on about this subject but really what matters is the fact that if we only focus/run after what society defines as happiness/succes/ pleasure we miss living our lives to the fullest.

    When you feel you don't fit in, try imagining how boring life would be if everything were to be perfect, if we didn't have any challenge, if we didn't feel any pain, sadness, frustration etc. This is a duality! you wouldn't know you are happy if you don't know what sadness is, you wouldn't know you feel good if you didn't know how it feels to feel bad.

    Take any emotion just as it is: AN EMOTION. Do not try to categorize it as good or bad, it just is, it is part of you and it complets who you are.

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