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James Altucher


Advice on asking a girl out on a date.

Good challenge by Jay. My experience: I am not such a good looking person but I have asked out, over the years, many many girls on dates.


    1. Don't hug.

    I hate when I see guys do "the hug". They meet a girl and they are not sure if they are in the friend zone or not so when they next meet the girl, they hug her to see how she hugs back. This is stupid .

    2. Be direct.

    If you want to ask a girl out, ask her out as immediately as possible, Shows you are direct, interested, honest. You're not asking her to marry you, you just want to go to dinner or whatever and see what happens.

    To be direct you say (or people today text I guess): "Hey, let's go to dinner Friday night. I know a good place."

    3. Something weird

    Say, "Hey, I feel like doing archery this weekend. Let's go! Saturday at noon I'll make an appointment for if that's a good time for you." I say the "if that's a good time..." because even though I'm being direct I don't want to be presumptuous.

    4. Be funny

    Say, "I think our future grandkids we'll think it's funny if we the first time we have dinner together it's at, XYZ." And then you have to an answer ready why it would be funny but that will catch her eye.

    5. Ask for dinner or lunch but sincerely as a friend.

    Particularly if someone you know well and it would be awkward to go straight from friend to date. Ask them to dinner. Be a friend, and if it seems like your'e having a good time, ask again. At some point it will come up, "What exactly is going on here." And then you say (if you are interested), "I think this has potential.:" And even if she says, "No it doesn't", it gets her thinking and eventually it can turn into something.

    6. Ask her for a Zoom coffee

    This is about as low-key as you can get but you both get coffee, go on Zoom at the agreed upon time and just have a chat. I don't know if this works but it's worth a try.

    7. Ask her to marry you

    I've done this on a couple of first dates. Nobody ever marries me as a result but it's funny

    8. Use social media to find out things she's obsessively interested and research them extensively.

    Write, "I don't know if you are interested in this but I'm going to an advanced seminar on bonsai tree trimming and thought you might like to tag along."

    9. Send them a trophy.

    "James Altucher First Date Champion". You have won an exclusive date with James Altucher. Make it a three tier trophy. Send by messenger.

    10. Two rules:

    Always be funny.

    Always be direct.

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