As kids, we were told what to do, how to do it and even when to do things. Then as adults, we realize no one really cares.

Taking care of yourself becomes your primary responsibility.

The point is no matter how people look out or take care of you or even ask you to "take care of yourself" at the end of phone conversations - you still need to do the work.

If I were to have a conversation with my "20 year old self", here's what I'll say to start taking caring of myself:

Have you ever given someone a gift and instead of appreciating and simply saying thank you – they say something like “I don’t deserve this” “I feel like I’m bothering you” or worse they shy away and pretend it didn’t happen.

Sometimes we even do this unconsciously – someone compliments you for something you did great or your good looks and you catch yourself diverting their attention, changing subject by making silly statements or out rightly dismissing them - never appreciating.

Deserving love here should not be mistaken for entitlement, where you feel everything should be done or given on a platter of gold – it simply means accepting love graciously and hence attracting more love.

If this is your reality, understand this trait is not serving you and worse can make you to start repel love from others the more.

Love given from a good heart is meant to be accepted and appreciated with a full heart even before you’re think of reciprocating if need be.

It applies to both romantic relationships and non-romantic relationships. Few things can cause this feeling of not deserving love e.g.

- Having trouble with self esteem

- Not giving love enough to others yourself

- Trauma from past hurt or ill treatment

10 ways to feel more deserving of love and attract more love

The secret to attracting more respect to yourself and from others is to show respect for yourself.

Like trust it is earned, built over time and sadly can be lost in an instant and would take back work to be built again.

Not giving value, disrespecting others, or trying to manipulate your way to more respect all lead to no respect for yourself.

It is both dynamic and reciprocal. People give you respect first from the value they can perceive you possess then it increases with how much more value you give.

The point is the most important respect you need is the one you give to yourself. Because it naturally attracts respect from others and keeps you grounded from the fleeting nature of that others give you.

It’s not dependent on your smile, how much you earn, the kind of car you drive but you valuing yourself.

How do you become kind to your future self?

There are actions you take now that show you have respect for your future self and care about yourself .

The point is no matter how pleasurable today's momentary decisions are - you’ll have to deal with the consequences in the future.

11 tips to be kind to your future self