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Bullying

I was having a discussion with my mum and a lot of interesting points came up that I'd like to share.

    1. Isims and phobes

    Racism, sexism, homophobia ect what makes them bad?  To me it's the hatred behind them.

    Sure a survey about race could be seen as racist, but that's vastly different from killing people, because of their race. 

    Pointing out differences is pattern recognition.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Where it gets wrong is when we use those patterns (which may not even be true) to justify hatred.

    What's evil isn't the pattern recognition.  That's idiotic at worst, which is a very simple fix, education.  What's evil is the hatred, the anger that drives people to commit horrendous acts.  That doesn't get solved with education.  Logic follows feelings, always.

    If we look at isims and phobes as idiotic and as justification for hatred we soon see that it's no different from an other excuse that bullies use - you're fat, you're stupid, you're a geek, you smell etc.  and as we all know all these excuse are fake reasons.

    And fake reasons work just as well as real reasons.  Scott Adams calls this the 'Fake because '. We make up our minds and the fake because allows us to justify what we have already decided, even if it's nonsense.  Think cognative dissonance.

    2. The real reason

    There's one and only one reason people get picked on.  They're perceived to be weak.

    Sometimes the individual is really strong, but against a group they're not.  That's why it's not so easy to tell.  Nevermind the one's who hold back or hide their strength.

    This is why the go-to solution 'hit them' is so effective.  It shows that you're not weak.  There's another reason it works so well.

    3. Habits

    When we do something and get the results we want, we'll do it again.

    If people bully in order to feel strong/raise their status and they get that, of course they'll continue Why would they stop?

    A punch to the face isn't an outcome anyone wants.  It makes you lose status as they're now perceived to be stronger than you.

    You break the habit by providing outcomes that lower their status.  

    4. Retaliation

    If they see you as stronger it's unlikely that they'll fight back, walking away is the best option if this happens.  Force them to 'jump' you .  Even if you lose they'll be seen as an even bigger loser for an unfair fight.  

    They also might try and make amends.  If this happens you take control and lay out the agreements.  Even if what they say is fair add or remove something to put the power back in your hands.

    5. Work

    Time to work I'll add more later.  Really enjoy this topic.
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