As my oldest Son prepares to leave for school, I have been giving a lot of thought to Fatherly Advice. Specifically, what SINGULAR piece of advice could I send him of into the world with. What pearl of Wisdom so profound, that he would take with him even if he remembered nothing else.
Here is mine, I look forward to hearing yours. Thanks.
Everyone is looking for a Silver Bullet, Magic Potion or Secret, that will lead to success. But the secret is, there isn't one. There is no high achievement without focused effort and sacrifice. If fact, if it is not difficult, (whatever the pursuit) you are probably not setting your sights high enough. So welcome the challenge, and embrace the difficult, because they are the building blocks or achievement.
In short, You Absolutely and Unequivocally
You Get Out What You Put In
1. Don't Be a Slave
I don't mean this in the literal sense. But if you are going to work for someone, or in some job that you don't love, then be your own boss. Get good at something that is valuable and then start your own business. Or find a way to add value to the company you work for so they will reward you with promotions and raises. Don't be a slave to anyone.
2. Know Yourself
Know what motivates you, what de-motivates you, what makes you happy, sad, angry, frustrated. This is hard because it requires introspection which is painful but worth it. If you know yourself well enough then you can make sure your life is full of things that motivate and make happy and avoid those things that are not good for you.
3. Learn How to Learn
This was my tagline when I was starting my podcast about learning anything new: "If I can learn it, so can you." But really what I meant was: "if I can learn anything new then anyone can learn anything new". Because I've had to learn how to do many things over the years, many times over again as I've gotten older and forgot the old lessons learned (which we all do). Here's an article on "learning how to learn" https://www.khanacademy.org/experts/julia-montemayor/learning-how-to-learn . Note: there are many other ways besides this one but this is one of my favorites for sure!
4. Dealing With People You Dislike or Hate
First off, realize everyone has their reasons for being who they are and acting the way they act even if those reasons seem irrational or stupid to us now. So give them the benefit of the doubt when interacting with them. Secondarily, know when it's time to move on from a relationship that isn't working out no matter how much we like or dislike them (this happens more than we like). It's better sometimes just to say "goodbye" than keep trying fruitlessly over and over again in hopes of getting them to change into something they aren't ever going to be (again assuming they have reasons for being who they are). And lastly...
5. When Someone Says No - Move On Quickly AND Gracefully
Sometimes people say "no" because they feel intimidated by us or maybe even scared of us (maybe we have too much power in their eyes) or maybe because we haven't proven our value yet (so why would they give us power?). Sometimes people say no because they just don't want whatever it is we want from them at this moment in time (maybe later down the road when circumstances change). Whatever their reason(s), it doesn't matter if we get an answer of NO from someone else if our goal is simply an answer of YES from them eventually on something important to us. The key point here is "move on quickly". There's nothing wrong with respecting someone else's wishes if that's truly what they want even if it seems irrational or unfair at first glance BUT...we must MOVE ON QUICKLY AND GRACEFULLY once we get a NO answer instead of sticking around like a bad smell hoping for another chance later down the road when perhaps there won't be any chances left at all.