How do you find Hope in your darkest moments? 10 ways to Come out stronger
I’ve had a few “dark moments” in my life. One thing I’ve noticed with most of them they follow similar patterns:
- Triggers and Strong emotions e.g. anger,
- Self-talk which could be negative or positive depending on my perspective and mentality,
- Seeking company (misery loves company) or reaching out for support
- The Dark moments itself
- Habits which I had as my default, hen Reflections and Recovery
The key is how to stay Hopeful not thinking we can eliminate dark moments from our lives.
If you’re familiar with Job in the Bible – he passed through a whole lot of dark shit and with all he swore to himself “never to Curse God.”
10 ways to come out stronger from your Darkest moments
1. Change your perspective
Dark moments are Normal
In our quest for happiness and appearing “firm,” some of us have brainwashed ourselves or let the “positivity” side of media corrupt our minds and we think it’s abnormal to ever feel low from time to time.
- You could be Stressed out from work or you might be experiencing Burnout
- Everything might seem overwhelming because it’s out of your comfort zone or might be new to you
- You might be struggling with your purpose in life or mission which you haven't defined.
2. Become Self-Aware
The problem becomes when you remain blind to most of the events during and after your darkest moments.
Instead of acting in a robotic manner and resorting to your default habits – become aware of everything.
The triggers, your reaction, people who look out for you, those that didn't and how you were able to scale through when you do.
3. Take Responsibility
No matter what happens to us – what matters most is how we react.
What doesn’t help is thinking the situation is not our fault and we don't have a role to play.
What helps is reassessing things we have full control of and taking advantage of them:
What’s your Diet like? or Physical activity of recent.
Take some time to reflect e.g. through Journaling.
Have you made any effort to de-stress as against numbing pain.
Use Affirmations: positive statements about yourself that you repeat regularly.
Visualization: picturing yourself in your future, happy and successful
It reminds me of Victor Frankl in the castrated pit in the popular book "Man's Search for meaning"
4. Minimize/Avoid Toxic Habits
I believe this has to be a conscious effort as there are only few people who do things they don't regret during their darkest moments.
We engage in toxic habits the most when we want to escape from various feelings.
Anger or Control issues? – remember hurt people, hurt people. Would you rather be in control or let it ruin your relationships or life?
Drinking problems? – how about declining the next weekend invite
Porn? – delete apps, contacts or accounts that promote sensitive media
5. Connect with others who have been through similar experiences:
There is strength in numbers e.g. the popular Anonymous Alcoholic (AA)
When you share your story with others who understand what you're going through, you will feel less alone and more supported.
In your darkest moments, you can choose to hang around people that only want to numb the pain further or see vulnerability as weakness or you can reach out to Safe people.
Surround yourself with Safe people. This step can determine your possibility of relapse any time soon or create a story worth listening to.
6. Give yourself time to grieve:
It's important to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions after a traumatic event. Suppressing your feelings will only delay the healing process.
Time Heals if we let it.
I can still remember when I was goggling everyday “How to recover from Rheumatoid Arthritis, ” from severe neck and joint pain.
Today i have little memories of everything.
7. Seek professional help if needed:
Don't be afraid to reach out for help from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling to cope on your own.
They can provide invaluable guidance and support.
8. Lean on your faith:
If you have religious or spiritual beliefs, use them as a source of strength during difficult times. Pray, meditate, or read religious texts for comfort and guidance.
In your darkest moment you can find hope in something greater than yourself. This by far determines even your perspective in life and outlook in life.
I remember a loved one who died of Cancer leaving behind her 1+ year old then who was still supposed to be on breast milk – in everything she was singing hymns, reading scriptures and never lost her faith.
We were never promised lives without challenges but rather we’re promised hope and victory if we keep our faith.
9. Help someone else:
One of the best ways to get through tough times is by helping someone else who is also struggling.
Volunteering your time or donating money to a worthy cause can give you a sense of purpose and hope.
10. Develop a "Victor Mindset"
Difficulties come and go.
Whatever situations we find ourselves, no matter how unique it seems, some other persons have faced something similar and their reactions all were determined from their perspective and mindset in life.
Those that approach life with a “Victor mindset” always have an edge as against those with a “Victim mentality.”