How to plan your finances with your partner
If you are dating someone, that the money conversation. Be completely open. Don't shy away from it. Be honest about where you stand and then ask the hard questions of the other person.
1. Speak the same language
Make sure that you both understand the basic. Debt, investing, saving etc.
It can help to work from a shared document.
You could both read a money book at the same time and talk about each chapter.
If you do not speak the same language, you will never get on the same page.
2. Listen more than you speak
It is just like dating. Whether you know more or less about money does not matter. Ask your partner questions about money. Find out what they know or do not know and then take it from there.
You do not need to be one to explain things to your partner. Unless they specifically ask you. Give them tools to learn about money on their own terms.
Make them think about tough questions.
3. Print off a physical document to talk about
Even though it does really make a difference if you do it online or have physical documents. Physical documents make a conversation more real. It goes from being an idea to being a 'form' or contract. Something that exists in the world.
Having a physical document also separates the money from both of you. It puts it down on paper as its own entity. Kind of like a business. You can now manipulate it, discuss different elements of the paper. Etc.
4. No judgements
You do not want someone judging you. Do not judge the other person. Determine where you both stand and then together work on solutions.
5. Compromise
2 people that are similar are never the same. You will always need to compromise.
People value different things. Some people value clothes, some people value cars.
When people go to buy a home they have the dream home in mind that has everything they could possibly want and then have to compromise on what they want and what they can reasonable afford.
The same is true with a relationship, there are wants and then needs. Determine what the primary needs are and then add in the wants of each party.
6. Acknowledge the wins
Celebrate all the milestones.
7. Create short term and long term goals
I have short term goals like funding my emergency fund. And then I have long term goals like saving for retirement, saving for a month long trip etc.
8. Both people should be involved
If you are in a relationship, then finances should be handled by both people, not just one person.
You and your partner should understand what is going on with your finances and have all the log in information to various accounts.
9. Don’t keep secrets
Financial secrets are just like any other secrets. They can and will destroy your relationship if you let them.
10. Have your own money
You and your partner should have money that you are allowed to spend without asking the other partner.
Never let someone control through money. It is a form of abuse. If you stay at home and do not work, split the one income between 2 people.
11. Create a system that works for your relationship
Every relationship is unique. Create a system that works both of you and is healthy.
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