How to Stop Negative Self Talk? 10 ways to Conquer Negative Selftalk
What kind of thoughts goes through your head when you are stressed or worried? For most of us, it's a load of negative thoughts that leave you feeling worried and aggravated, that’s how powerful your thoughts are!
Did you know that your brain generates the corresponding emotional response only by saying a certain word? For this reason, it's crucial to have positive and uplifting self-talk.
We all have moments in our lives where we used negative words on ourselves for whatever reason.
Because no one hears it – we may think it’s okay but it affects important aspects of our lives such as our confidence, beliefs and actions.
Negative self-talk = self-sabotage.
I thrive in the idea that:
• You are not your imperfections or flaws
• Neither are you your past nor mistakes
• No trauma can define you unless you allow it
I’ve seen a family member who was in unbearable pain from cancer and one thing that baffled me was how much she had control over her tongue.
At times she did ask and wonder why she was still alive because of the pain. But majority of the time she was always confessing positive.
What causes us to use Negative self-talks on ourselves?
- Low Self esteem, Hard times/Challenges, Failure, Pain and sometimes just a bad habit you need to Unlearn.
But just like any problem, it’s all subjective. Fact is, everyone is going through one thing or the other. What matters is our attitude.
It all starts from our thoughts which manifests in the words we use whether spoken or unspoken that finally influence our actions.
- Higher self esteem
- Boost your confidence
1. Become aware of the words you say to yourself
Most people live their lives on autopilot – they’re not aware of their thoughts whether negative or positive and how its impacting their lives.
The first step to stop negative selftalk is to catch yourself when you're doing it. This can be difficult at first, but it's important to be aware of the negative things you say to yourself so that you can start to change them.
Be honest with yourself: does it sound true, hopeful, and encouraging?
2. Acknowledge your Negative Self talk
Acknowledge the negative selftalk when it happens. Don't try to fight it or ignore it. Say to yourself, "I am having negative thoughts" about myself right now.
But then, there’s always something you can pick from the thoughts coming to your head including the negative ones.
By listening to it you can understand where it comes from and what it's saying.
The problem becomes when you can’t make any sense of it or let it dominate your head.
3. Label it
Once you've acknowledged the negative selftalk, label it.
For example, you might say, That was a putdown I just told myself.
4. Challenge, Reframe and Eliminate the negative thoughts in your head
Stop being okay with negative thoughts on a daily basis or whenever you face a slight challenge.
After you've acknowledged and labeled the negative selftalk, try to reframe it in a positive way. For example, if you told yourself you're stupid, try to reframe it by saying, I made a mistake. Everyone does.
Challenge Negative Self talk and practice self-compassion. Questioning these thoughts then you can unpick and form a specific solution to combat it through positive self talk.
There should be no room for self-doubt, insecurity, or defeatism, so stop thinking negatively and adopt a positive outlook instead.
For example, instead of thinking I'm such a failure, you can tell yourself I'm learning and growing. If you want your experiences and reality to go different you gotta think/speak different especially to yourself.
5. Replace the negative self-talk with positive ones
As a way of being in charge of your life – get used to speaking positive about your life and events around you.
Remember it starts with you – if you can improve the quality of the conversations you have with yourself you can significantly improve that you have with others.
Speak life. Speak to yourself the same way you would talk to someone you love
6. Perspective matters
The victim mindset and blaming other external factors doesn’t serve anybody.
Change the way you speak to yourself and perspective from the mindset of "things happened TO me" to "those things happened FOR me."
You can reflect and ponder all of life's circumstances by using FOR.
It enables you to look deeply and realize that everything happens for a reason.
Specifically, what lesson is that circumstance teaching you that will enable you to improve as a person?
7. Take advantage of the Power of Gratitude
Focus on what you have, not what you don't.
Most of our negative self talk is about things we wish we could change or how we think we’re not good enough compared to other people.
Focusing more on what you have and what’s working as against what you don’t have and what’s not working.
8. Choose to surround yourself with positive people
There are people I call “enablers” even to negativity.
They allow you say a lot of shit to yourself and people around you.
Surround yourself with those who have higher standards with their words and actions – positive people.
9. Talk back to it
Talk back to the negative selftalk in your head. For example, if your negative selftalk says, You're never going to be good enough, you could say back to it, "I am doing the best I can."
Remind yourself that you're "capable and competent"
10. Let it go
Once you've acknowledged, labeled, reframed, and talked back to the negative selftalk, it's time to let it go.
Tell yourself, I don't need to listen to this. I am worthy of love and respect.
11. Habits you can use to conquer negative self-talk
1. Practice Meditation as a Habit
Meditation is a great way to quiet your mind.
2. Change your diet
Sugars, processed meats, canned foods, junk/fast foods, all cause Anxiety and Depression both of which thrive on Negative self-talk to worsen.
3. Practice gratitude
Think of three things you are grateful for whenever you notice any self-talk that is unfavorable or worried creeping into your mind.
You deserve better.
Stop that negative self talk. Don't say mean things to yourself that you'd never dare say to someone else.
Choose to the see glass “half-full” as against “half empty” as a way of being kind to yourself.
Release the fear, self doubt & negative self talk … to find your true joy again.
Like anything else, stopping negative selftalk takes practice. The more you catch yourself and reframe your thoughts, the easier it will become.