Making Asking for Help Easier
H/T @harnessmoney
Lots of people have trouble asking for help. I know I do. It has taken years but here are some things to remember that might make it just a little easier the next time you could use a hand.
1. Do you like helping other people?
Most of us do. Think about how it feels when after you've helped someone out. Feels good right? Well, when you ask for a little assistance, you are giving the other person the chance to feel that way too!
2. Asking is a sign of intellect and strength.
When you ask for help, what message are you conveying? To me it says you are smart enough to recognize a problem and strong enough to admit that you could use a little boost.
3. It doesn't have to be reciprocal.
If you can return the favor some time, that is great. If not, that is OK too. Helping is a transaction, not a contract.
4. But help DOES have to be re-paid.
The social contract demands it. When someone helps you, you are honor bound to re-pay by assisting others. The payment has nothing to do with trying to equal money, time, or any other measurement. You asked for help and got it. Someone asked you for help and you gave it. That's all that matters.
5. An ask is not a demand.
You can't force someone to help you. There are just as many reasons for not helping as there is for saying yes. Asking for help is tough enough. Being turned down after asking is just reenforcing those negative feelings. But you can't take it personally or let it stop you. You still need help.
6. Most people will say Yes
And even most of those you say No, wanted to say yes but couldn't. This gets back to Idea #1
7. You asking me for help recognizes my ability in this area.
You wouldn't ask if you didn't already think I could do it, right? This also plays into #1
8. What makes you so special?
Everybody in this life needs help at some time or another. What makes you think you're any different? It's perfectly normal to need a hand every once in a while. Some of us need more than others. And others are blessed with more resources than others. We all have strengths in some areas and weaknesses in others. Welcome to being human.
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