Most Important Events In My Life

I was eight. And a BIG Mets fan. The ball game wasn’t important (though it was included in the book “The Year The Mets Lost Last Place”) - what was important was before we left for the game, my best friend’s father beat the crap out of his mother. The adults weren’t saying what was the matter, but we kids “felt the vibe” – and, of course,

They weren’t going with us, but the aftermath messed up a pretty decent lower middle class neighborhood. My best friend went in a bad direction, recovering later in life.

And my suburban “life is good” illusion was ended.

In the middle of fourth grade, my folks wanted to get out of the neighborhood, as the drug culture was starting with the teenagers. It also moved Dad closer to his work – a five minute drive versus a 35-40 minute drive.

It worked out from the safety factor for the kids, but I didn’t adapt very well. Made new friends, but didn't really fit in there. Fouled me up as a person for a long time.

Played Little League baseball for a couple years. Our team sucked, but every team had to have at least one player on the all star team. They needed a first baseman, which is where I played. Other kids were good enough to play on the team.

Who got on the team? The worst player whose father was ‘connected in town.’ Major disillusionment.

When the coach came by to get me to sign up the next year, I told him I was done because what happened was so unfair. He didn’t disagree, but also didn’t think to help a 12-year-old me understand that the game was more important than that one thing.

And “historical inertia” kept me from playing in high school. Didn’t play again (softball) until I was married (at 39).

During a school assembly (magic show), got called up to stage and asked if I was smart. Said “yes” – the magician asked me to tell him something. Being a big baseball fan at that point, stated the Babe’s then-record. So-called friends mocked me for the rest of the school year. And I avoided public speaking until I was an adult.

Our town built a new high school which opened after I finished elementary school.

The students who were to be juniors and seniors were contracted to go to high school at the next town over, so they had the incoming 7th, 8th and 9th graders in the school the first year, then 8th through 12th the following year. I was at the school for six years.

The 7th grade me got bullied, and it got worse early in the next year. So, when “real” high school came around, I didn’t have a lot of friends, and didn’t get involved in anything at school.

As a 2nd year high school student, we wrestled occasionally in gym class.

While my buddies and I messed around doing ‘pro wrestling’ I wouldn’t ever have made the real team (in my ‘then’ mind), but I got matched up with one of the bullies, who was fat and unathletic (but had an older brother who helped him bully people).

I was able to tie him up and pin him. Then, the next “round” was another bully. I had the ‘upper’ position, and decided to “risk it all” by shooting an inside cradle when the whistle blew. And I pinned him immediately.

After that, the bullying stopped.

While I had a ‘girl friend’ who was the girl across the street in 7th grade, I didn’t count that because I thought we were just friends, until one of her friends said we should be “going out.” I went along with it, but then the same friend said we shouldn’t be, and that ended that.

Bothered me for a day or two, then I went back to being a 7th grader.

In 8th grade, I had a big old crush on a girl who lived on the other side of town. Our class rooms were set up so you could see through to one of the other classrooms. Never got caught staring, but I most certainly did.

Well, through some magic, I got her phone number. We spoke a few times on the phone and I thought things were cool. I then got “the word” she didn’t want to talk to me any more, which crushed me. Then, her family transferred her to a Catholic school.

Actually saw her at the start of the first year of college as she ended up there, too. She walked away. And it didn’t bother me at that point.

For me, getting my license was my initiation into “adulthood” – it increased my self-confidence and gave me more independence when I earned the money to pay for a car.

While I never felt the need for a fancy car, seeing them as transport, being able to move freely really helped me with my self-confidence.

Once I got my license, I was able to get a job at the local Foodtown. It was a new environment for me, with a range of types of people and personalities. I worked hard, kept my mouth shut, and learned. After a while, I had a whole new set of friends and became a lot more outgoing than I had been. Got invited to parties, which was basically a first for me.

It also paid well for the time, including health coverage for even part-time employees. It was a different time.

About forty years later, we get back from vacation and go food shopping, and the assistant store manager when I left was the store manager for our local A&P. I recognized him, and he remembered me.

Didn’t have a girlfriend in high school. And in my 17 year old perception, all of the good ones were taken (thanks to Ian Hunter for that song) or wouldn’t date me. So, I made the conscious decision to avoid the rejection and didn’t go to prom either junior or senior year. I worked those weekends.

A couple years later, I did go to a prom with a friend’s former girlfriend who wanted to go to her prom and didn’t have a date. I was not a good date that night (nothing bad, just refused to dance when my date was dancing).