Rocco's Jokes - Part 16

I was walking around my work earlier and came across this big red sign next to the fire exit. It read - 'Fire Blanket'. I felt that was terribly irresponsible to a tore it down.Fire blanket? Fire, get the hell out of there.

Why do planes insist that you wear a seatbelt? If you crash at that speed, being strapped in isn't gonna help.

Was out for dinner with my Chinese pal. I ordered a pizza. He wanted to practice his English so he said 'Feed us. Feed us. Feed us'. Eventually my pizza comes and they serve him up three tiny dead babies. He loved it.

Imagine slaving away for days. Finding it tough to breath and tracking trough dead bodies, some of whom might be old friends. Only to reach the top of Mt.Everist, look around and realise - It's all downhill from here.

What do you call a snowman made from snow cubes? A snowoman. Why? Snowballs.

My mate asked 'Rocco where can I change a tyre?' I replied 'You tried the changing rooms?'

Every job insists that you have 'Work experience' . Which is imposable to get, without a job. So you volunteer just to build up your experience, then you apply for a jobs. When you eventually get a job they insist that you have training to make sure you do it there way. If you're gonna get training to do it a specific way why insist on experience that's just gonna be flung out the window as soon as an employee starts? Madness.

They say pictures are worth 1000 words. if that's the case - why are picture books always cheeper?

My wee three year old was learning about sexual preferences in school today (Yeah Scotland). She came home telling me all about it then asked 'Dad what are you?' I replied 'Isn't it obvious Hunny? I'm black and white, I'm really lazy and I love everyone regardless of their gender. Im a Pan-Da.'