Rocco's Jokes - Part 6
Even more of my funny, funny jokes
1. Business Idea
You know those kids shoes with the lights on the side? Why don't they make adult ones? Athletes would love them, even kid's know they make you run faster.
A pirates walking down the street and stops to talk to his matey. 'Ahoy' they both say. He notices a patch on his friends face 'I hope it's not rude of me to ask, but what's with the patch'. His friend replies 'me eye hurties'
I was up the farm earlier and got chatting to one of the pigs, the animal you shouldn't be thinking like that. Just because they're ugly as sin doesn't make them any less of a person, treat them with respect. Anyway, I was chatting to this pig. He wouldn't shut up about all his problems 'My girlfriends a psychopath, they feed us literal rubbish, I'm convinced they're just fatting us up so they can eat us'. His stories where life draining. Honestly - he was such a boar.
4. Maid Cafe
I was in Tokyo with a Japanese mate. We where both getting hungry so I asked him if he knew any good cafes. Being Tokyo I had to insist 'No maid cafe.' He nodded his head and showed me a good spot on a map. So we jumped in a taxi and headed there. The area was rather run down, lots of scaffolding and people working away. Eventually we stopped outside where the caffe should be, just an empty building with a few workers relaxing outside. So i pay (a hell of a lot) for the taxi and we jump outside. 'is this it?' 'aye' 'We can't eat here' 'Aye' 'so why did you take us here?' 'no made cafe'
5. Norman The horse
Norman was a really shy horse. He wasn't the fastest, the best looking or the most talented, but he had a good heart. Betty on the other hand was the complete opposite she ran like lightning, she was beautiful and had won tons of trophies. Norman really liked Betty and one day he managed to work up the courage to talk to her. 'Hi b... b... Betty. I'm Norman. I r... r... really like you. Would you like to go on a d... d... date with me sometime?' Betty looked him slowly up and down, scoffed and replied 'Neigh!'
6. Pig Flu
I caught that pig flu
fine? naw I feel like im dying
7. German Cats
In 1940's Germany cats have nein lives
8. Don't take things for granted
Don't take things for granted
She's a cow
9. Muslim extremest
What did the muslim extremist say when he saw his sister? 'I sis
10. Our souls
I just got kicked out the church. The minister was preaching his sermon when he said 'our souls go to heaven' I disagreed, so I stood up and said 'Lies. Lies. Lies. Good people go to heaven. Arse holes go to hell'
11. Happy International Woman Day
Happy International Woman Day to all you queens. And happy international mens day to all you kings. I know what you're thinking, 'but Rocco it's not international mens day' I thought the same, so I asked twitter when was international mens day? Turns out it's every day. So if your even treated as anything less than a king, just remind them who's day it it.
* One of my favourite jokes
I use to always wonder where I came from. I thought it was the normal way, you know, but my dad's black and my mum's white. What does black and white make? That's right, gray. I'm not gray. So, I searched google. Turns out im a mixture of flour, yeast, sugar and coco powder. That's right - I'm a brownie
13. Hate Crime Bill
One of my most popular videos