Solve for happy (Ten Takeaways)
I've just finished reading this book. Loved it. Highly recommended. Here's the ten lessons I took from it.
1. The voice inside your head is not you
So what is it? It's an organ doing it's job, helping you survive. Your heart isn't you, your stomach isn't you, your intestines aren't you.
You're brain still we're cavemen. Back then stress and anxiety kept us alive. Now, not so much.
Start by just being aware of your thoughts. How do they make you feel? How do they make you act? Once you're aware, start silencing these thoughts or replace them with better thoughts.
You're in control.
When we theorise we often miss small factors that could effect the final outcome. Being aware that you dont know everything makes getting through 'unescapable' times easier. You'll get out, you just lack all the knowledge at the moment.
Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so - Shakespeare
3. Happiness is now
Grief, embarrassment, shock, anger, envy, guilt, disappointment, anxiety, fear, worry, stress, doubt, frustration are all routed in the past or future. There's some occasions good memories /goals that result in positive feelings, but most of the positive feelings comes from focusing on the now. You're happy or you're bored. Focus on now and be happy, if you're bored list what you're grateful for and you'll soon be happy again.
When we focus on the past or the future, we're living in our thoughts, and not in reality.
Most things are outside of our control. We can control our thoughts and actions, everything else is a gamble. We can act to sway the odds to our favour, but the results are always outside our control.
Coming to peace with this and focusing on what we can control brings happiness.
Most things we fear, won't harm us. Ask yourself what happens after you face your fear, then what, then what? Before long life's back to normal with the added bonus that you're a little more coragus a little more knowlagable. Face your fears. Doing nothing and being a slave to fear is always worse.
There are no positive aspects to fear. It's your actions and not your fears that keep you safe.
How often did your worst fears come true? How often do things turn out better?
6. Life is mostly made of positives
The negatives we face are the exception that interrupts the norm.
Life is mostly good, compare your life to the life of Kings in the past. You're probably doing better than most of them. Compare it to others alive today. You're currently better than over a billion people alive now. Take time to appreciate how much you have.
Fat, thin, miserable, boring, thug, outrageous are all examples of labels. Labels allow us to think less. I know what fat people are like, they're lazy, like to over eat and don't exercise. I know what a thug is like, they're dangerous, trouble makers, evil and the world would be better without them. Labels make us give up thinking.
Throughout the day look at how many times you label people /events. Do these labels bring you happiness? If not relabel.
Fast beating heart, sweats,blood pumping, focus. What am I describing? Anxiety or emphusuasim? These are the same conditions with different labels. One makes us feel bad, one good. Do the same with other labels you use throughout your day.
In the absence of context, labels very often cover up the truth.
Our lives isn't as important as our thoughts about our lives when it comes to happiness. If you focus to much on what you lack you'll be sad. Focus on what you have and you'll be happy. Since this comes back to our own perception, work on your thinking and your life will quickly improve.
9. Choose to be happy
When you can't decide what is true. Choose to believe what makes you happy.
10. Do nothing
Be aware of where you are now. Silence your thoughts and become aware of now. Notice how you feel when you do nothing.
11. Look down
If you ever forget how lucky you are look down and remember how bad most of the humans that have ever lived had it. Your living the life of a king /queen.
12. Unconditional love
Who/what do you love unconditionally? Learn to love all of life in the same way. Being surrounded by love is a sure way to always be happy.
Expect nothing, but what is.
13. We die a little every day
Who we where as a baby is dead, you're no longer the same person you where as a toddler, who was vastly different from your teenage self. We die a little every day.and we don't even notice it. Death existed for an infinite time before we were born and will return after we're gone.
Everything in life is a loan. If you're lucky you'll be able to experience good things for a while, but eventually the loan will be returned. Viewing everything in this light makes no longer having something feel like a return, rather than a loss. Returns feel good, we're greatful for our time with it, loss is bad, we feel like we owned it, we where robbed. Reframe all things friends, family, possession, relationships ect. As a lone. You'll appreciate them more and be happier as a result.
15. Life always meets realistic expectations
What happens, if looked at all attributes would always happen. Physics doesn't change as a result being upset over outcomes is being upset at physics itself. Put simply, being angry that a pen falls when you let go of it will never change the fact that it will always fall. It just upsets you. You're no longer living in the real world, you're living in a fantasy.
Someone does something you don't like? They where the exact type of person who would do it. Why didn't you see this? Or could an external event change the person you know into someone who would do this?
I hope this makes sense. If you'd like me to try and explain again let me know.