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The Shepherd's Mindset To Parenting

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They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. Kahlil Gibran

    1. You do not get to design your children.

    God would have never permitted that to happen. You can't usurp God.

    Since you are the figure in your child's life that symbolizes God you have the capacity and the responsibility to either reinforce the ego's thought system of guilt, fear, and punishment or the Holy Spirit's thought system which corrects all mistakes through the process of forgiveness.

    2. God would not have allowed a generation of species thinking to be so influenced by the previous generation's thinking.

    • The very nature of consciousness is expansion.
    • You can't teach your children what you don't know.
    • If we're honest with ourselves we'd have to admit we know very little about our children.
    • We pretend to be an expert in raising children but many of our behaviors are childlike.

    3. You can't improve on that which is perfect.

    You can't improve on that which is perfect.

    You have not been granted such power.

    You don't know what anything is for.

    Listen to your child enough and you will come to realize that he or she is quite an extraordinary individual. And the more extraordinary you realize your child to be the more you will be willing to listen. And the more you will learn. M. Scott Peck

    The Bible says, your child was created in the likeness and image of one that has Supreme reign over the heavens and the earth. No tinkering is necessary.

    The Mozart effect is something the ego drummed up. It may be helpful but it's a watered-down solution to a national crisis in our country. Kids are begging for you to look at them.

    The Mozart effect emphasizes that playing Mozart stimulates brain development, improves IQ, and spurs creativity in children.

    4. Research in neuroimaging behavior, genetics, developmental psychology, and neuropsychology has discovered that.....

    Your child has more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature and they have nothing to do with you. Good luck trying to control and manipulate all of these traits.

    So the idea that you are going to engineer your child's personality and IQ and academic achievement skills and all these other things that you lie in bed dreaming about just aren't the facts.

    Your child is not a blank canvas for you to paint the story of your life.

    5. Seven characteristics of a good shepherding parent.

    1. Boundaries. The relationship with your child is defined and preserved by boundaries. Stepping over those boundaries compromises the relationship. There are appropriate ethical, moral, and other boundaries that parents need to establish and maintain for the benefit of all those involved.
    2. Trustworthy. Your children will follow a good shepherd "because they know his voice". This is learned over time from the consistent and caring treatment of the children by the parent.
    3. Relational. A good shepherd takes the time and energy to build solid and genuine relationships with their children. They are not viewed as mere children, servants, or objects, each is recognized and treated as a child of God.
    4. Invested. A good shepherd has a personal stake in the well-being of the child. A hired hand will abandon them when the going gets tough --for her, it's only a job. The shepherd is 100% invested in the child's well-being.
    5. Provision. You get to pick the pastures where your kids will develop and grow. A good shepherd provides a loving environment. The environment is important but it doesn't design your children.
    6. Leads by Example. A good shepherd says, "do as I do, not as I say do."
    7. Spiritual welfare. Allow the confidence of God's power to work through them. Without the power of spirit, children grow up and become hollow shells.

    Your child is a genetic mosaic of your extended family, which means they are a unique combination of the traits that run in your family line.

    6. Parenting is a lot like loaning a friend some money.

    If you aren't willing to accept both realities it's not a transaction you should make.
    • Reality #1 - He may pay you back as agreed.
    • Reality #2 - He does not pay you back as agreed.

    The moment you become the engineer of your child's life, you become responsible for everything. - The good and the bad.

    Everything that goes right. You did it.

    Everything that goes wrong. It's your fault.

    This is why parents have so much guilt. Some parents reading this right now know exactly what I mean.

    Things you feel guilty about:

    • You work too much so you're always gone and never at home
    • Your child acts out in public
    • Your child suffers from a poor diet
    • Your child has too much screen time
    • Your child is hanging with the wrong crowd
    • Your child is socially inept
    • You yell at your child too much
    • You can't afford your child any extras
    • You feel like you're a bad parent
    • You feel that you can do it all when your body and mind say otherwise

    Guilt among parents is at an all-time high because parents today believe that it's all about them and what they do.

    Stop thinking of yourself as an engineer and step back and say, I am a shepherd to a unique individual of a child of God.

    7. No shepherd in his right mind would try and turn a sheep into a dog.

    Yet if most parents were honest they'd have to admit this is exactly what they do.

    Once the shepherd's role is clearly identified and understood he can sit back and enjoy the show.

    This Shepherd's Mindset To Parenting is profoundly freeing because you realize while it's important to be a shepherd, that what is before you is a unique mosaic piece of art.

    So open a bottle of your favorite Bourbon, kick off your slippers, sit back and watch the beauty unfold, Because you don't get to determine this, right? So enjoy it.

    The success of your child is inevitable if only you would get out of the way.

    Let go, and let Love lead the way.

    But if you think that what you did in your house is going to shape the life course of this individual, you are sadly mistaken.

    Your child is a unique individual.

    Let them grow. Let them prosper.

    Please create loving environments around them.

    But you don't get to design them.

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