Things I Want Said About Me At My Funeral

1. I don’t want a funeral!

I once said this to my very traditional Mum and she said, 'you're TOO unconventional'. Maybe. But I really mean it. Save the money. Put me in the most minimal coffin possible, cremate me and have done with it.

2. I won’t be there

By the time of any potential funeral (see above), I will be energy cruising around the Universe. 

3. My unconventional philosophy

I'm not religious in the least. I believe that death is a door to the next phase of our soul evolution. So, I don't subscribe to the general approach at the majority of funerals. I know there are humanist funerals but that's not my bag either.

4. Tell me now

What if we told people now how much we appreciate them. Buy them flowers instead of wasting them on a funeral. They get left to rot and no-one enjoys them. Take someone out for lunch instead of spending money on a fancy coffin.

5. Pragmatic not sentimental

My Dad was very pragmatic. When my Mum died, I drove my Dad and I to the funeral. When my Dad died, I drove myself. I bought nice flowers for both funerals and then took them home afterwards so they weren't wasted. 

6. Whose funeral do you remember?

If you're of an age, think back and which funerals do you actually remember? Which people who've died do you remember? I never went to his funeral but I remember the car park attendant who was kind to me every time I parked there. I remember how he made me feel. He left more of a legacy than several others whose funerals I attended over the years. 

7. Think outside the box (every pun intended!)

How could we celebrate a life in a different way? What would feel meaningful, memorable and uplifting? 

8. No slow driving

Here in the UK, funeral directors drive at snail's pace. My Mum, for some reason, specified a crem some distance away. It took us on a motorway. I said to Joe, the latest generation of funeral directors that we had always used, 'none of this slow driving'. I also said, 'no bowing, just be normal'. (At the end of my Mum's funeral we played The Laughing Policeman. It was a favourite of her Mother so quite symbolic. And, for me, a bit unconventional. My Dad bought balloons for the wake just because).

9. We’re no different

I don't subscribe to the sanctification of people after death. We don't suddenly become saintly when we die and need hushed tones. Speak of us as we were when we were alive. Remember the real us. Talk about us in the same way you always did. Remember us, warts and all.