Use the glasses for

1. To protect eyes while cutting the onions

2. To hide that you are crying over a "Hachiko" movie

3. To hide you are sleeping

4. To start a fire

5. To bother some one with the sunbeams

6. To reduce the distraction

7. To pull up the hair of your face

8. To protect you eye from a finger poking

9. To hide the person is dead, pretending they are sleeping

10. For making a pretentious statement by taking off the glasses and cleaning the lens for a few seconds, building the tension