What I learned about rest and burnout over Christmas
1. You have no idea how tired you are.
2. You keep plodding on because you have to.
3. I thought, because I was waking up every day and working all day, that I was fine. And feeling tired was normal.
4. It’s only when you stop that you know.
5. Rest is not my strong suit.
I've always pushed myself. If something needed doing, I would just knuckle down and get on with it. Sleeping at night was all the rest I needed.
6. Happy Christmas migraine.
I woke up on Christmas Day with a headache. Before long it became a migraine. One that lasted 24 hours. Chris' Christmas dinner was a tuna mayo sandwich!
7. Enforced Rest.
After that I didn't feel up to much for a couple of days. We watched films. Ate a late Christmas dinner. We did very little. For several days.
8. Return to the world.
After chilling out for a while, I started thinking about ideas. And watched more films. And ate nice food.
I began to understand just how tired I'd been. As I began to feel better and more interested in things - reading, ideas, projects - I realised how far gone I'd been. I was too tired to notice much. Just those tasks I had to do.
10. Counter intuitive.
The irony is ... the more you try to do, the less effective you are. Your performance deteriorates. You do less. In 2022 I scarcely took any photos. Did very little writing. Failed to take notice of the beautiful place we live. Now, after about 10 days of good rest, I feel so much better. There's a lesson in this for me. I need to factor in proper rest, work less, be aware when I'm going down the slippery slope of doing too much.