What You REALLY Want vs Need
IMO, life is all about striving for fulfillment, understanding, and creating pleasurable novel experiences.
All that without dying too soon.
We're all just an amazing spectrum of emotional, sensory, creativity machines.
Some with more self awareness than others.
Some with more resources than others.
Most, if not all, of us want more than we have now.
Some will go after it.
Some will just accept what they have.
Some will self destruct and choose to exit early.
Some will lead.
Most will follow.
Some will give everything they have and be exploited and taken for granted.
Serving "Karens" is not fun.
Some will take everything they have and exploit others whenever they get the chance.
Being a "Karen" can be fun.
Others watching this will regulate this behavior, but know full well they could have been in either camp.
This behavior will never be fully eradicated because of desire, deviant thought and opportunity.
It's part of human nature.
Fortunately, some figure out what's good for the whole is likely good for the individual and use that as their way to be.
Givers with conditions for who they will give to and who they won't waste any more time thinking about.
All of this to say life is a perpetual cycle of balancing want and need until death.
The top contributors add to the tapestry of history by giving back knowledge to those that come after, who are then tasked with the same mission (should they choose to accept it).
This all gets accomplished by means, not ends.
Graduation through the different levels of actualization.
This happens when you understand the differences between want, needs, means and ends.
Here are 10 ways to be a more self actualized human by understanding some of these key differences.
Hope you find this useful.
1. Fortune vs Fame
These words are usually paired as synonyms, but they're really not.
Most people really want fortune, not fame.
Plenty faux famous people without no fortune, as well as plenty non famous people making a fortune.
2. Cash vs Job
Everyday good people seek out work as a means to get cash.
The most deviant ones try to skip the work part.
Some attempt violent aggression.
Some use trickery.
The most creative ones use ethical leverage.
That is helping others get a result they want or a problem resolved without utilizing too much of their own time and labor.
3. Transformation vs Information
Today, information is easily accessible.
Anything in high supply is automatically discounted.
It's taken for granted.
Information might be useful, but that alone does not make it highly valued.
Getting a result does.
The trick is figuring out how to use the information to get the more meaningful transformation.
4. Outcomes vs Effort
People want things, but even if no money was involved... everything has a cost.
What's the cost with getting an outcome?
One of the biggest factors of cost is the effort involved.
If the result is a tangible external outcome then we can outsource the effort in exchange for some compensation.
If the result is internal achievement then we can only outsource guidance.
5. Easy vs Simple
Most think these are the same. They are not.
Simple has to do with how many steps are involved.
Easy has to do with how much effort is involved.
Moving an object from A to B is simple, but moving an elephant from here to there is NOT easy.
6. Credit vs Blame
Everyone wants credit.
No one wants blame.
Aren't they both two sides of the same coin called responsibility?
Accepting both the negative and positive sides of responsibility is one of the easiest ways to regain self power.
Individual agency is one of the self empowering ways to influence control over your own destiny.
7. Perfect for One vs Ok for Many
Specialization is a thing that's all about being ideal for a select few, maybe even just one.
Generally decent is usually ok fine for many.
A swiss army knife vs a hunting knife (or butter knife?).
The perfect tool for the job vs an a tool that's not perfect for any job in particular.
8. Useful vs Used
Everyone wants to feel useful.
Useful feels valuable.
No one wants to feel used.
Used feels degraded.
9. Allowed vs Forced
Being allowed to do something feels good because it respects people's inherent want to be able to choose.
No one wants others to choose for them without asking for that.
Being forced removes and disrespects autonomy.
That makes people resistant and triggers negative high intensity emotions.
Allowance can be used to bait and seduce.
Forced just gets pushback, even if unconsciously.
10. Should vs Could
People that are stuck ask "what should I do?"
Jonah Berger points out a scientifically backed easy trick is to simply have them change the question to "what could I do?"
Of course, they have to answer the question to, but that one is more empowering because it opens possibilities.