10 bad ideas to bring more customers to a coffee shop

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1. Point guns at people on the street telling them to come inside

2. Offer a lifetime supply of M&M's to whoever can drink 30 cups of coffee in 30 minutes

3. Hire someone to do a little dance every time someone orders a banana muffin

4. Foot massage for every customer

5. Make it a pig café

Like a cat café but with pigs instead of cats.

I feel like this might actually be a good idea...

6. Advertise that you only hire ex-cons who were in prison for murder

7. Pick a morally reprehensible niche

Coffee shop for anti-semites?

8. Always have a spoken word open mic going on

9. The whole staff is naked and they're all unattractive

10. Shout about it on public transport