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10 Fantasy Sports That Should Be Invented

I don't normally read the news, but...

... I like reading the really weird and interesting stuff. (Yes, I am insane.)

For instance:

The other day, I was just reading about a new sport that's taking South Africa by storm. And the name of this sport is "mermaiding". You literally become a mermaid (by wearing a huge fin over your legs), and you have to swim just like a mermaid does... by flipping your fin and using your hands to pull your body forward.

I think competitions are judged by your swimming speed. And your elegance when you're swimming as a lady of the sea.

They even have schools open right now where you can train to improve your "mermaiding" skills. And everyone from kids to grandparents have been taking part.

From what I read, the World Mermaiding Championships are going to be held in China next year too.

So this got me thinking... hmm...

What other sports can we create that involve taking fantasy themes and translating them to real life?

Well, I came up with 10:

    1. Dragon Slaying

    This sport involves you being a knight. And carrying a sword and shield. And you face off against a real-life, mechanized dragon that actually breathes fire. Well, maybe not fire. Maybe something that looks like fire. Or maybe just mist. But you have to use your sword to destroy the dragon robot before it crushes you under its feet. Or smokes you to death.

    2. Little Red Riding Hood

    In this sport, you dress up as Little Red Riding Hood. And you're in the forest. And there's a wolf chasing after you. And you have to outrun the wolf and reach grandma's house first. But the wolf is just Usain Bolt dressed up in a furry costume. So can you do it?

    3. Hansel and Gretel

    This is a competitive eating type sport. Where each contestant is given a life-sized house made out of candy and cake. And whoever finishes eating the whole house first wins. But if you finish eating the whole house, you might get diabetic. So why would you eat the whole house? Because you get $100 million dollars.

    4. Cinderella

    In this sport, you dress up as Cinderella (pre-princess). And you compete with other people dressed up as Cinderella too. Each contestant is given a huge pile of laundry. And whoever, finishes folding all the laundry first wins a trip to the ball where you can meet the Prince. But the contestants who don't finish folding the laundry before time runs out gets whipped by the Step Sisters.

    5. Prince Charming

    In this sport, you play the Prince Charming who is trying to find Cinderella. So in front of you, there are 100 different women, all with different shoe sizes. There are other Princes competing with you too. And you have to be the first Prince to find the woman whose feet fits the glass slipper you're holding. But the glass slipper is extremely fragile, and it can break if you go too fast or someone with really fat feet tries to fit into it.

    6. Star Wars

    Everyone gets a light saber. And you put them all in an arena. And everyone beats everyone else into submission. The last man standing wins a free trip to space.

    7. Space Jam

    This is a professional basketball league where... you compete in basketball, just like in the NBA, but... you have to wear Looney Tunes costumes and play basketball while wearing those costumes. So basically, your movements and vision are restricted. Because you're wearing a huge Bugs Bunny costume. And you have to dribble the ball with your paws. Of course, you can choose another character if you don't like Bugs.

    8. Mario Cart

    Mario Cart in real life. Yes, you have to wear a costume while driving. And you can chuck things behind your cart to try and hit your opponents. You can modify your cart to sabotage other players too. But it can't be too dangerous or lethal.

    9. Three Little Pigs

    You compete with two other contestants who are your fellow "pigs-in-arms" to build the sturdiest housing structure with the materials you have at hand. After the time limit ends, the wolf comes in and tries to blow your house down with a massively gigantic, modified version of a leaf blower. Either that, or the wolf could use an air canon.

    10. Winnie The Pooh

    This sport involves tree climbing. And bees. Lots of bees. So basically, you have to compete with other contestants to be the fastest to climb up a tree and scoop out some honey from a bee hive. Yes, there are real bees. And you'll have to wear a beekeeper's protective suit. But you get to attend a "honey-tasting" party at the end of the game with the honey everyone has collected.

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